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13 Post Valentine's Day Activities

Be your own secret admirer, smack your own ass, and eat your own damn chocolate.

Allison McCrea

Sep 06, 2016

Catholic University of America

400

google

It was 2007 and at recess I was passing out my valentines to my elementary classmates. *He who shall not be named* gave me a box with a gift inside. It was a necklace with an "A" in the middle. He said "To: Allison From: (but the from was crossed out and replaced with a heart) *He who shall not be named*" It was a kind gesture, I'll admit. Then, *He who shall not be named #2* approached me and handed me a frog holding a heart. Two personalized valentines in one year. You could say I was a hot commodity in the sixth grade. If only I was a hot commodity in my college career.

Then I realized, "Wow I hate this holiday" Hating this holiday didn't start in college; I had a long term bf in high school and still hated the holiday. So, now I take pride of being called "The Scrooge of Valentine's Day" but so be it. I have my own after Valentine's Day rituals that beat out actually celebrating the holiday. For the ones who are single this Valentine's day...... this one is for you.

1) Be thankful that you survived this pointless day.

New year, same pointless Valentine's Day shit. *cue Adele* Hello, it's me. (And I'm still single!!)

2) Go to the nearest Walgreens and purchase all of the discounted Valentine's Day Candy.

Calories don't count when it's a discount.

3) Be thankful you didn't text the person that you wanted to text (and if you did, I hope you didn't embarrass yourself).

Honestly just put your phone on do not disturb for like the next week.

4) Be empowered by Beyonce.

Who run the world? Girls.

5) Go to the nearest CVS and purchase more of the discounted Valentine's Day Candy.

Again, calories don't count when it's a discount.

6) Go on Instagram and avoid every couple post.

Aside from the few, most of these couples won't be together by next year.

7) Text your group message a congratulatory text saying "Congrats you made it".

Then continue to talk about all of the Valentine's shit that pissed you off. My best friends know this all too well.

8) Go to the nearest Rite Aid and purchase the last of the discounted Valentine's Day candy.

It is imperative for you to get all of the candy that you need and to remember... CALS DON'T COUNT WHEN ITS A DISCOUNT.

9) Eat more food than your body can handle.

Who needs a valentine when you and your food baby can just chill.

10) Look at the hot guys with puppies insta.

Maybe next year you will have a hot guy and a puppy.

11) Scroll on tinder hoping to find your Valentine for next year.

Love at first swipe.

12) Eat all of your discounted Valentine's Day candy and Netflix and Chill with yourself.

Nothing better than a Rom Com and taste testing a box of chocolates in your bed.

13) Pray to Cupid that maybe next year you won't be the Scrooge of this holiday.

This probably won't work and you will most likely be repeating these "After Valentine's Day Activities" next year.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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13 Post Valentine's Day Activities

Be your own secret admirer, smack your own ass, and eat your own damn chocolate.

1) Be thankful that you survived this pointless day.

2) Go to the nearest Walgreens and purchase all of the discounted Valentine's Day Candy.

3) Be thankful you didn't text the person that you wanted to text (and if you did, I hope you didn't embarrass yourself).

4) Be empowered by Beyonce.

5) Go to the nearest CVS and purchase more of the discounted Valentine's Day Candy.

6) Go on Instagram and avoid every couple post.

7) Text your group message a congratulatory text saying "Congrats you made it".

8) Go to the nearest Rite Aid and purchase the last of the discounted Valentine's Day candy.

9) Eat more food than your body can handle.

10) Look at the hot guys with puppies insta.

11) Scroll on tinder hoping to find your Valentine for next year.

12) Eat all of your discounted Valentine's Day candy and Netflix and Chill with yourself.

13) Pray to Cupid that maybe next year you won't be the Scrooge of this holiday.

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No one best represents the struggle like our favorite 90s squad.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

2. When there is only one section of a popular course.

3. Receiving the 18,000 emails reminding you to register ASAP.

4. When you need to see an advisor, but they are too busy/unresponsive.

5. Trying not to dress like a bum for your appointments with your advisors/department heads.

6. When you have a perfectly planned out schedule, and one class ruins it.

7. Carefully moving things around to accommodate a different class/section.

8. Waking up at 6:00 a.m. for your enrollment time.

9. Concocting a new schedule at your enrollment time after your original plan gets changed.

10. Getting into a class and filling the last available seat.

11. When all of your classes finally go through.

12. Realizing that you forgot a class that was a pre-requisite for everything else.

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

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"Nobody living in one of the most influential nations in the world should be worried about making ends meet."

What is the current minimum wage at the federal level?

What are the benefits of raising the minimum wage?

What are the states that have set a $15/hour minimum wage?

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Because who understands your bitterness better than April?

1. When you have to provide an "interesting fact" for your first day ice-breaker.

2. When your professor is babbling on and on in his lecture.

3. When you edit your friend's paper and they get an A.

4. When it's 2 AM and you remember you have a test tomorrow.

5. When you finish taking the test and you're pretty sure you failed...

6. ...but then you get the test back and somehow passed.

7. When you've been up for 12 hours straight writing a paper.

8. And then you manage to stay awake in class the next day.

9. When you have to butter up your professor for an extra credit opportunity.

10. When you're assigned a group project.

11. And your group-mates are trying to chat about life instead of the assignment.

12. When it's your last class of the day and you're about to go home.

13. But then you remember rent is due tonight and the anger comes back.

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