There are certain things that all people just have to come expect from their lives. Tall people will be asked how the weather is up there, glasses wearers will be ambiguously assumed to be intelligent, people who are good at guessing passwords will be called hackers and for us writers, we will hear the same things over and over again when we tell people that we write. Many of these things I have heard since middle school when I first decided I wanted to write and before I had even done anything professionally. Since becoming a published poet, writing articles and gaining a writing internship while attending college I can guarantee that it only gets worse. So here it is the twelve things you keep hearing when you tell people you write.

1. "Really!? Can I Read Your Book?"

There is so much wrong here I honestly don't know where to begin. First off I suppose, believe it or not, there are other things you can write than books. Secondly, if I did have a book chances are I would not have it on me while getting lunch at Zaxby's. If you would like to purchase a copy then, by all means, I will point you the way to the nearest Barnes and Noble.

2. "I Used To Write! Can You Look At My Stuff?"

Let me explain. I am all for helping people out and looking at their writing. Nine times out of ten though, when I hear this it means they are about to show me a haiku they wrote in fifth grade and that their mom liked so much they put it on the fridge or a cringe-worthy short story that more often than not involves the person you have met being miraculously amazing and perfect. Eww.

3. "How Do You Write Well?"

How does anyone get good at anything? Practice, practice, practice, practice and a little bit of dedication. It really isn't that hard once you put your mind to it.

4. "I Wish I Could Do That!"

Then. Do. It.

5. "That's Cool. I Hate Reading."

Now that is just unfortunate.

6. "Do You Make A Lot Of Money?"

We really are breaking the mold here today, huh? No, not every writer is a best seller, unfortunately. The most I have ever made from writing is $1500 dollars from a proposal paper and all of my other writing money combined couldn't add up to it.

7. "Can You Write Essays For Me?"

I love to proofread things for friends and even improve them. I am probably the reason that one of my best friends is passing with flying colors in speech class with how heavily I doctor everything he writes for it. Granted, unless you are going to pay me a considerable amount for my time and can guarantee I will not be discovered, I will not do school work for you because "I like it".

8. "You Must Have Gone To A Good School."

Yes, and all baseball players must have been born in dugouts.

9. "I Wish My Parents Supported My Hobbies."

Support can be subjective in meaning.

10. "That's Why You Use Big Words!"

Please don't flatter me. If I am talking to you and don't have the vocabulary of a toddler who spent twenty years in the Navy chances are I just don't know you well and am trying to make a good impression.

11. "Can I Be In Your Next Book?"

I wonder if Directors get asked this about movies? At least with movies, you can actually put someone on the screen. No, chances are unless you strike me as an interesting character you will not be in any way included in anything I write. If you are, well let's just say I don't find perfect people interesting.

12. "Is That Like A Real Job?"

If you mean did I have to dress up for an interview for it, then no. If you mean does it absorb huge amounts of my time to give me a sense of purpose and potentially income so that I can enjoy the simple things in life, then yes.