12 Types Of Guys You'll Hook Up With In College | The Odyssey Online
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12 Types Of Guys You'll Hook Up With In College

A girl's guide to potential hookup stereotypes on campus.

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12 Types Of Guys You'll Hook Up With In College
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The hookup culture in college these days is pretty strong. If you partake in this so-called "culture," you know that there are tons of different people out there to choose from and there's definitely the good, the bad and the ugly. Here's a list of the many different types of guys you may hook up with in college.

1. The Foreigner

He has you at hello. Literally, as soon as you hear his accent, you are all about him. Everyone knows an accent makes a guy 19.7 percent hotter than they'd normally be without one. Crowd favorites include Australian, British, South African, Italian and French. How is life back in his country? How does he view Americans? He's different, and it makes him extremely mysterious and intriguing. Oh, and chances are extremely high that you'll make him say something to you that really shows off his accent because it's pretty sexy; extra points for knowing a different language. Ooh la la!

2. The Wannabe Bodybuilder

You meet him somewhere casual, possibly in class or at a party. His body is ripped and that immediately catches your attention. But as time goes on, and you guys start texting, the conversation usually goes like this:

You: "Hey what's up?"

Him: "Nm at the gym hbu?"

And you think it's pretty cute. Like, OK, this guy definitely knows how to take care of himself and stay in shape. That is until, a few days in, you realize with horror that his second home is the gym. He's there whenever he's not in class or downing protein shakes. His Instagram is full of progress pictures with countless fitness hashtags, and "Narcissism" could be his middle name based on how many times he tries to look at himself in reflective surfaces. Also, he constantly complains of soreness from arm day or leg day. This could even stretch to when you're hooking up and he doesn't want to do something: "Babe, I had a really tough workout today, I'm ready to pass out." Oh, hell no.

3. The Douchebag

Well, this one can come in many shapes or forms, but unfortunately, there will always be that one hookup that will screw you over. He may treat you like crap or ghost you; he may even have a girlfriend and try to cover it up. It doesn't matter how attractive he is or how nice you thought he was. Run.

4. The One-Night-Stand Classmate

You wake up the next morning full of regret. Everything was wrong: it was awkward or weird or you both just weren't that into it. The worst part? He's in your class. Yeah, you'll see him almost every day. There will be cringe-worthy instances when you accidentally make eye contact, casual avoidance of each other and a huge amount of tension that makes focusing on your studies a million times more difficult. You need to do a group project? Nine times out of 10 your TA will innocently put you both in the same group.

5. The Druggie

This guy has experimented with a lethal amount of drugs and you're not even sure how he manages to study with all the time he spends on being messed up. You're not even sure how he got into your school because it seems like he doesn't care about it at all. What is his direction in life? No one really knows. But what you do know is that he definitely knows how to have a good time. He'll probably take you to artsy and admittedly a little sketchy, places, and it'll be fun. So what if he's also your dealer? There's probably going to be a favorable discount that you'll miss once you guys stop hooking up.

6. The One From Another School

You could've met him at his school or vice versa. You could've met him through Tinder. It's a huge pain in the butt to meet up since you're both probably broke college students and your schools aren't that close. It's cool if your schools are in a rivalry because then it gets a little like Romeo and Juliet, but then again, it's not so fun if he's really into the rivalry and talks trash about your school whenever you're together. An upside to breaking it off with this guy is that you won't have to see him around campus, unlike that guy from your class.

7. Your Best Friend

I'm not referring to the scenario where you and your best guy friend fall in love with each other and hook up because you both realize your love for each other. No. I'm referring to that moment when you're both blackout drunk and hooking up just occurs because... Who knows? Oh God. Another moment of instant regret the next morning. He's your best guy friend and now you'll feel that the relationship is tarnished. It can't really go back to how it was before. Do you have feelings for each other? Where are you guys going to go now? There's no way that you guys are telling your other friends, unless they witnessed the connection early on in the night. In that case, they'll never stop giving you crap for it.

8. The Real Serious, Real Fast Guy

You've been hooking up for a couple weeks, like two or three, and he tells you he has really deep feelings for you out of nowhere. Like, you'll be leaving his place and he just says, "I think I love you" as casually as if he's saying the sky is blue or that last week's chem exam was hard... Huh? Seriously? You were seeing it as a friends with benefits type of deal and now he's going all "Let's be exclusive" on you. This is dangerous territory if you're single and want to continue to mingle. It's confusing and to be really honest, annoying. You're both on different pages; you like hooking up with him, but he refuses to see you anymore unless you're exclusive. You are forced to drop him. It will be painful because it was a good time while it lasted, but it'll be 10 times more painful down the line if you keep hooking up. His feelings will eventually drown him in love for you while you're all like, "Bro, we're friends, right?" If you aren't about having a relationship, let these guys be.

9. The Extremely Hot But Weird Guy

This guy is a real tragedy. A beautiful work of art that someone has subtly ruined. It's like finding a silver goblet filled with water in the scorching desert, then realizing the liquid that you originally thought was water is actually camel piss. This guy is hot. Like so hot you can't believe he's actually making eye contact with you. He gives you his number and you agree to meet up with him later. You're so excited that you tell all your friends and proceed to find him on Instagram to stalk him. You all fawn over how hot he is. A few hours later, you hook up with him, and to put it simply, he's the girl equivalent of a boner killer. Goddamn it. You knew it was too good to be true. On the outside, he's gorgeous and charming but in reality, he is creepy, strange or a combination of the two. He was terrible at kissing, or he harbored a strange fetish—it was weird. You got the hell out of there. With the exception of your closest friends, you're not going to tell a soul about how heinous that interaction went. You will silently accept the brownie points from other girls because he was hot. But you also can't think about him without gagging a little now.

10. The Older Guy

A couple years older? How sophisticated. He may even be out of college with a real job. He'll make you realize how immature some college guys are, and that may or may not be a good thing. A few good things come out of hooking up with an older guy for sure. He probably has a car so you guys can go on dates off campus. He can give you some pretty good life advice. Also, he's experienced. He may not know how Instagram works, but you know what? To each their own.

11. The Inexperienced Guy

Yikes. There are a few of these guys floating around. If you have to tell him where to put his hands when you're just kissing, this will go poorly. Maybe some people find it cute. My only advice would be don't laugh at him unless you want to hurt his feelings and if you actually like him, give him a few casual pointers.

12. The Sweet, Nerdy Guy

The only thing I can say about this guy is that he'll probably be a catch when you're out of college because he's nice and he's going places with that GPA. At the moment, he's always down to hook up and help with your homework. He's a good guy and that's definitely something worth holding onto.

You are very likely to encounter at least one of these guys in the world of college hookups. Good luck and, more importantly, be safe.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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