12 Thoughts You Have While Hosting A Garage Sale | The Odyssey Online
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12 Thoughts You Have While Hosting A Garage Sale

In chronological order.

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12 Thoughts You Have While Hosting A Garage Sale
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1. I didn't even know I had this much stuff!

It's easy to think there's nothing to wear, nothing to decorate a room with or nothing to entertain yourself with when it's all shoved in the back of your closet. However, when it's all being organized into 12 giant trash bags, it's not too much of stretch to wonder if some magical elf has been sneaking into the house and leaving behind useless junk. Just when you begin to think none of it is actually yours, you suddenly start remembering the prices you paid.


2. Someone will definitely buy this for $20!

This denim jacket was $40. Some of these clothes still have the price tag on it. There's no doubt everyone will notice the craftsmanship and jump at the chance to only pay half the price (oh, the naivety).


3. It'll all be gone by noon.

For me, early is anything before 10 a.m. To get up at 6:30 to set up tables, signs and organize everything seemed like a true detriment to my health, but I felt very accomplished after doing it all before seven. I thought that because I was up and about early on a Saturday, everyone else would be too. I thought they'd come rushing and I could leave before the midday Texas scorch. In reality, I had to wait until it was blistering hot for someone to show up to buy one thing. I think someone planned this as some sort of sick joke.


4. People will notice all the effort I put into organizing.

I spent 30 minutes placing items by shoes, entertainment, toys and clothes organized by not only article, but by color, size and price. Surely no one will unfold and throw around my items like some animal and leave it a chaotic mess. Surely someone will not put the $5 clothes into the $1 bins and vice versa, then ask how much the price is. Even if they do mix up the clothes, they'll have the common sense to look at the price sticker before asking for a deal. I guess by now you can tell I've never worked in retail, huh?


5. You seriously messed up the system, and aren't even going to buy anything?

OK. Maybe I expected a little too much of people, but I could handle completely dismantling my system if they actually took the time to look through things and then buy them. Alas, no. Everyone is playing the game "Who can throw around the most stuff in five seconds before speeding off?" If you had no intention of buying something, why go to the very bottom of the barrels/piles? But, nevertheless, I say nothing and watch them walk away from their destruction.


6. I'm just going to let people do their thing.

When I realized all my $10 items were apparently $5 items, and my $5 items were to be sold as $1 items, I stopped being Helpful Hannah. No more cheerfully going up to potential customers, saying, "I'm willing to haggle on the price," "Buy one get one free," or, "That color sure looks great on you!" What can I say? After hearing the phrase "Spanish phrase" 50 times on a $3 item, I felt compelled to sit in the shade and only look up from my phone when someone had a direct question. No, it did not change how much people bought.


7. Just take it. Please!

As the heat and time overwhelmed me, I was practically begging people to take my things. I started putting things in "Free bags," which people thankfully took without even looking in them. I started removing price tags off of everything, paranoid that they were warding people away. Everything is suddenly a dollar..or less. Steal it. I'll pretend not to notice...Just let me retreat to the inside already.


8. How can I still have this much left over?

I came here with 300 items and left with 288. How?


9. At least I can go inside now.

All I have to do is pack up all 288 items, lug these heavy bags to my car and...well, now what do I do with it? Whatever. I'll just be grateful it's over and happily count the money I made.


9. I only made this much?!

All that effort and sacrifice, and for what? $70? I don't think so. I should've made at least a hundred.


10. Never again!

After everything I just had to deal with, I think next time I'll just go straight to Goodwill. Or not.


11. Well, maybe in a few months from now.

I just gave away 20 things or more..sounds like it's time for a shopping spree. Maybe in a few months from now I can stomach this again.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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