1. Get into the octagon with Ronda Rousey.

Even though I idolize her, I would rather get knocked out in less than a second than go to UF.

2. Listen to “It’s A Small World” in Disneyworld for the rest of my life.

Even though it is a happy song, when you hear it for the millionth time, it really drives someone insane.

3. Listen to Donald Trump debate.

The things he says make me question his education, and they show how ignorant he really is.

4. Deliberately throw up the UL “L” hand sign, say “Go Cards,” and mean it.

Way to point out that you really are losers by making your sign a giant “L”.

5. Eat dirt for the rest of my life.

Or nothing. I would rather eat dirt, or go starving than go to Gainesville.

6. Live on the sun.

Burning alive sounds better than being a Gator.

7. Constantly hear nails scratching a chalkboard.

Along with, “It’s A Small World,” you might as well call me Van Gogh because of my lack for an ear after being driven insane.

8. Be forced to have a pet spider and pet snake that don’t have cages.

All aboard the nope train to nopeville.

9. Go to IU.

Become relevant in something, then I might change my mind.

10. Not being able to ignore the crazy Jesus man on campus who tells me I am going to hell.

Along with my daily coffee, I would rather have it with a side of “you’re going to hell” than be caught on UF's campus.

11. Live in North Korea

Do I need to explain more?

12. Be eaten by an actual alligator.

At least, then, the gators will actually dominate at something.