People with social anxiety do not think this is cute. It is not beautiful, adorable, sweet, or whatever you want to think of it. Social anxiety is a serious problem that many people wish to overcome. I personally suffer from social anxiety, and it holds me back from so many opportunities. Social anxiety, by definition, is an anxiety disorder causing an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Something as simple as ordering food in a restaurant can trigger a person with social anxiety because they just are not comfortable. For me, social anxiety comes with working in groups or if I am in a large class. I am afraid of looking stupid in front of my peers. Irrational fear, right? Sadly, this is what people with social anxiety deal with on a daily basis. To shine some more light on this subject, I picked a character I feel can really help to bring a visual aspect to what it is like: Fluttershy.
Fluttershy is a Pegasus pony from the Discovery Family hit show 'My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.' As her name implies, she is shy. This is a characteristic that people with social anxiety share. She does have friends, like everyone does, but she can get really anxious and nervous about anything. I feel she is a perfect way to help describe this subject to adults and young children alike.
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1. You have cried over something like having to call someone you didn't know.
I'll admit, I have cried before and after calling my doctor's office plenty of times. Other people can get anxious before making a call like that too. For me, it is a fear of being judged or them making fun of me. I know it is a fear that doesn't make sense, but for people with social anxiety, we can't help but feel this way. It's scary to have to talk to someone you don't know over the phone or face-to-face.
2. You tend to think worst-case scenario.
'What if they don't like me?' 'What if I look stupid?' 'Why are they looking at me?' These are common questions people with anxiety may think about, and come to conclusions such as: 'They don't like me.' 'I think they think I look stupid.' 'They're looking because they are judging me.' No one likes these feelings, especially if it means it ruins your ability to be able to interact with people.
3. You hate having all eyes on you.
This is a feeling I know all too well. I am sure many others do as well. Ironically, I do perform in an improvisation group on my campus and I sang solos in my high school choir. I still question to this day how I am able to do it. This also reverts back to number two in the sense of fear of rejection.
4. You try to avoid going out as much as possible.
Whether family is asking you to go out to eat, or you are being asked to do something, people with social anxiety can dread having to leave their safe haven: home. I know I have asked my parents to 'bring food home for me' because I did not feel like having to interact with people. I get nervous having people see me eat. I hate eating in public; many more people probably do as well.
5. Once you are out, you want nothing more than to be home.
6. You don't feel comfortable in a group with no one you know
You generally have a few friends there with you to help you feel comfortable.
7. If pushed too far you will snap...
or cry.
Just depends on the person. I tend to lean more towards crying than getting angry.
8. You hate seeing social conflicts.
Even if you are not involved, you hate seeing others fight. You are also scared to do anything about it. It's a lose-lose situation.
9. You may not be able to talk, breathe, or stop shaking.
Just like any other type of anxiety, you have symptoms like this. None of these are fun.
10. You can't explain why you have said anxiety.
One thing that people with anxiety find extremely annoying is when people ask why they have anxiety. This is something that you can't just think about and come up with a quick response for.
11. You may be scared to seek help.
I get it: it's frightening to know you can't do this on your own. Anxiety sufferers may find it even more difficult if it means they have to meet with a counselor or therapist to help control the problem.
12. When you do find out what is causing the anxiety, it can take a while to overcome.
The one thing to remember with this is as follows: never give up! it may feel like it is not worth it to go on, but in all honesty you will come out a better person.
As you can see, anxiety can really take a toll on everyday life. It doesn't matter what type of anxiety it is. Social anxiety is nothing to find cute, and the best thing to do is support your friend and help them get through this difficult time in their life. You never know when you might need the same help.
