"Did you ever like someone, but the timing was off? Way off?" - Mary, "The Wedding Planner"
We’ve all been there. It’s a tale as old as time. You have a crush on the most incredible, perfect-for-you person, but there’s just one problem: they’re already taken. Just recently, I learned that a past crush who reentered my life was no longer single. Cue ugly crying and a pint of ice cream (I’m joking…I ate two pints). Here’s to all the guys and girls who have terrible, terrible timing. You’re not the only ones who do the following.
1. You sigh.
Which is followed by an avalanche of questions and a single thought: missed it by that much.
2. Then you cry.
You might not actually cry, but a part of you on the inside definitely gets teary-eyed.
3. You may feel a knot in your stomach.
It’s called existential dread. You start smacking your head on a wall. And you don’t even care that it hurts.
4. You seriously debate whether or not to be THAT couple-wrecker.
A little harmless flirting wouldn't be that bad, right?...Right?
5. You compare yourself to their girlfriend/boyfriend.
So she’s got bigger boobs, better hair, and is an absolute sweetheart. He’s dorky, but in a cute way, and definitely has abs behind that poor-fitting t-shirt. Doesn't mean you can't hate them anyway. But damn do they make it hard.
6. You doubt everything about yourself.
Why wasn't I a contender? What’s wrong with me? I'm single and ready to mingle. I may not be hot but I'm cute as hell!
7. You tell yourself they weren’t that great anyway.
I'm sure there are a lot of hidden faults behind those beautiful eyes and charming smile...
8. But you know deep down they were perfect.
Damn their eyes. Damn their smile.
9. You rally with your friends and hit up the local bar.
Both to drink away the pain AND to find someone who’s actually single.
10. You consult your monthly horoscope hoping the universe has something planned for you.
You don't actually believe in that stuff, but beggars can't be choosers. You'll take any good news at this point.
11. Just when you think you’ve moved on, you find yourself stalking their Instagram.
And Twitter, and Facebook, and what the heck, why not check LinkedIn, too.
12. And finally, there’s that feeling you get when you watch them become available... then immediately taken again.
Repeat steps 1-12.
