"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams
Procrastination, or delaying tasks to what seems like no end, (probably) affects millions worldwide. Hopefully, you don't let your procrastination habits keep you from eventually getting things done, as the above quote suggests -- though you certainly wait until the very last moment. It can lead to all-nighters and undue stress, but the chances that we'll change our ways are slim. Love it or hate it, the habit of procrastination is a hard one to kick. But if nothing else, it gives us a point of unification, because there are several things that all procrastinators know to be true.
1. It Doesn't Matter What.
Big or small, we procrastinators will keep ourselves from getting literally anything done in a timely fashion. From a 15 page paper to a small task like taking out the trash, procrastinators will find anything else to occupy their time, making infinite excuses until it is no longer possible to avoid the paper due in 12 hours or the trash piled up to the ceiling.
2. Company Doesn't Help.
The only thing less productive than a solo procrastinator? Multiple procrastinators. It's exponentially easier to find means of distraction when there are other people around to waste time with. Even though you tell yourself you're going to the lounge for some help with homework, in the back of your mind, you know that the conversation (unrelated to your work) is just the thing to distract you. And when you're with other procrastinators, nothing gets done.
3. Nothing is more precious.
To a procrastinator, nothing is more precious than time spent slacking off completely. If someone dares distract you from distracting yourself, they certainly won't get away with it.
4. You like the rush.
Even though it can be stressful, waiting until the last minute to get something done kind of gives you a rush. The pressure of an approaching deadline looming over you gives you the perfect incentive to power through any assignment or task.
5. If you do start something on time, it takes you forever.
Without that euphoric rush to keep you going, it takes you so long to actually finish something; the time you waste while making such slow-paced progress could've been much better spent sleeping or staring off into space.
6. It's an all-day affair.
Have a huge assignment due Monday? Yikes, that means you'll have to figure out how to spend the time between now and Sunday around 10 pm. Between watching TV, snacking, and getting lost in the black hole that is the internet, procrastination is truly an all-day commitment; you'll probably plan your procrastination more thoroughly than you'll plan the assignment.
7. It requires overtime.
After a long day of procrastinating, you'd think that some well-deserved rest would follow. Psych! You took, like, seven naps during the day, so you often find yourself awake during the wee hours of the morning, working overtime towards your procrastination goals; that paper isn't going to not write itself.
8. Tomorrow is your favorite day of the week.
Honestly, the words "later," "tomorrow," and "nope" could be the most frequently used in the vocabulary of any procrastinator. How beautiful is the concept of doing something, but at a time that isn't now and also hasn't happened yet? It's glorious, and honestly, the potential work that could be done tomorrow makes it your favorite day.
9. It comes from perfectionism.
Studies have shown that the primary reason people procrastinate is fear of failure. Often times, people who procrastinate do so because they feel like they don't have the knowledge or resources to perform a task well enough -- so they put it off in the hopes that they soon will. Despite perceptions of procrastinators as lazy, we simply like to do things right (or do them later).
10. You have your priorities in order.
People might say that we procrastinators have no time management skills or that we have no concept of priorities, but they're all wrong; we simply prioritize the instant gratification that comes with not doing work.
11. Getting things done actually relieves you.
Even though you don't always finish things right away, it does feel really freeing to get some work checked off your to-do list -- and move on to procrastinating on something else!
12. But when a deadline gets pushed back?
More time for us to squander before actually doing what we're supposed to? Few things are more wondrous.
In conclusion...
It has its drawbacks, but being a part of the procrasti-nation is nothing to be ashamed of. 95% of college students procrastinate; it helps you learn to get your work done quickly and pull through under pressure. It also gives you the ability to enjoy every last second of free time, so we procrastinators know exactly what we're doing.
