You know it's college application season when the campus is flooded with hopeful high school seniors on a daily basis. Some days, it feels like you can't walk two feet without passing a tour group. If you spend a lot of time in certain spots on campus, you might feel like you can recite the tour guide's spiel by heart. Here are 12 things you would NEVER hear from the mouth of a Ball State tour guide.
1. "8 AM classes aren't that bad."
The reality is far from this, but those words will never slip out of a tour guide's mouth...
2. "The Atrium is one of the quietest places on campus."
Anybody who eats in the Atrium regularly knows that it is one of the most hectic places to eat on campus. You won't get any quiet study time there.
3. "If you need help in your classes, don't bother going to the Learning Center."
The Learning Center is probably the resource when you need help with your classes. Any tour guide will tell you that.
4. "Late Night is actually pretty lame."
If you're on campus on a Saturday night, Late Night is the place to be!
5. "Lafollette has the best food on campus."
Now I personally think the food at Lafollette can be pretty good, but no tour guide will tell you it is the best.
6. "The buses are super reliable. You should never be late to class."
Let's be honest. The campus buses are great when you're not in a big hurry, but if you've got less than fifteen minutes to get to class, you're better off walking.
7. "The Wifi is amazing here."
Your tour guide will likely warn you that the Wifi can be pretty unreliable in certain spots on campus.
8. "North Quad is a pretty easy building to navigate."
Once a campus library, this building has so many nooks and crannies that you may never find your way out. Your tour guide may even get lost showing you around.
9. "The tradition of putting clothes on Frog Baby is pretty stupid."
Now some people do actually believe this one, but any tour guide with the level of school spirit it takes to be a Cardinal will encourage you to help keep Frog Baby warm in the winter.
10. "I don't actually know the school fight song."
If you want to impress potential future Cardinals, you have to represent the quintessential Cardinal. This means throwing out "chirp chirp" signs whenever possible, and teaching your group the fight song until they know it by heart.
11. "Most dorms are actually super quiet at night. You'll sleep great!"
Living in the dorms is a great way to meet people, but with so many people living in such close proximity, it's hard to get some peace and quiet. Your tour guide will be honest about this.
And finally...
12. "Boiler up!"
Do I really need to explain? #chirpchirp
