I figured it was time for me to stop being a hypocrite and telling everyone else that having depression and anxiety wasn't something they should be ashamed of or feel the need to hide, but then not doing the same for me. So here you go; at the end of last school year I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and as part of my treatment I have a therapy rabbit. And in the two short months that I've had Slate, I've learned some things.
1. Make yourself feel safe
If my roommate and I leave the room at the same time to go to the pantry or whatever and Slate is out, he gets scared. So when he realizes that he is alone, he goes to his safe place: his cage. He could literally go anywhere in the room, and he heads back to his cage because his cage means water, food, and comfort. It's important for everyone to have a safe place; it doesn't have to be physical. It could be a person, or a somewhere you go in your head. But make sure you have an escape where you can get your needs met. Your health comes first, mental and physical, and feeling safe is one of our most primary and basic needs. Make sure to take care of yourself.
2. If someone is touching you in a way you don't like, give a warning and then scratch the Hell out of their arms and face
If I ever pick Slate up and it's uncomfortable for him, or maybe he just doesn't want to be touched right now, he lets me know. He'll jerk a little bit to show how he's feeling and if I don't put him down right away, he starts scratching and tries to rush away. Another lesson for today's world to not put up with harassment from anybody. So take a lesson from my rabbit and leave evidence so that no one can deny that you said "no."
3. Sometimes all someone needs when they're sad is for you to sit close to them
People don't always want or need to talk. Sometimes, it's just knowing you're there for them that gives them everything they need to pull through.
4. You don't have to show affection all the time for people to know you love them
Even though rabbits are thought of as cute, fluffy little buggers, Slate is not always in the mood for cuddling. And that's okay. Not everyone likes to be touched all the time, or ever for some, and some people have trouble conveying their feelings. But every now and then, Slate will come over and lick my arm or my nose (a sign of affection or trust in rabbits) and then bound off under the bed or to run around the room. Of course we should try to let people know how much they mean to us (I don't recommend licking their face though), but we should also understand that not everyone has the same comfortability level with that, but it doesn't mean they don't care.
5. Have fun
I let Slate out of his cage for a few hours each day so that he can get some exercise and doesn't feel cramped up. He has a blast just running around the room. Sometimes he'll run around really fast and then jump off the side of the bed like he's doing parkour. Other days, he buries himself in the blankets on my or my roommate's bed and just stays snuggled there. Sometimes life gets boring and it seems like you're just doing the same thing day in and day out, but there's always a way to add some fun. Even if it's just hopping and running around or snuggling with a good blanket.
6. If your needs aren't being met and you need help, let people know.
Slate drank all of the water in his water bottle one day and it went unnoticed by both my roommate and me for a couple of hours. Now obviously water is a necessity for him so to make us aware, he figured out how to knock his bottle to the floor. This was quite a feat considering it's hooked onto his cage with a metal wire, but it goes to show that it's important for your needs to be met, whether they be emotional, physical, or whatever; you aren't always going to be able to take care of things on your own and it's okay, sometimes it's necessary, to seek help.
7. Find your own happiness, destress, and don't let others judge you for it
Slate loves to eat. I think it's his favourite thing. That or just laying around with his legs all spread out funny like he's a frog. And I'm sure that many of us can relate. He's getting a little chubby and he doesn't really care if he's eating his food, the bunny donut treats, or my flip flops (I put a stop to that), he just nibbles away and is happy as a clam. Or sometimes he'll just be lying in front of the fan without a care in the world. Meanwhile I'm sitting on my bed working on another essay or studying, but he reminds me to take a break. Have a snack or do something else that makes me happy and less stressed. And if people have something to say, well, who cares? In that moment, like Slate sitting in front of the fan or nibbling on a tiny donut, I haven't a care in the world.
8. Groom yourself
It's seems like such a simple thing, but it can be really important. Not only is grooming pleasing to the eye, but more importantly, it makes you feel good about yourself. When you're well groomed you feel more confident with yourself and it's easier to take on the day. If you exude confidence and happiness, other people will be affected by those feelings too. Taking care of yourself; dress well, test well as they say!
9. Ease yourself into new situations
I think everyone knows that rooms in residence halls are small. Mine fits two beds, two desks, two closets, and not much else. So naturally, Slate must get bored just running around the same place everyday. So I bought him a leash. The first time I took him out, he was not the happiest rabbit in the world because he was very anxious. So I let him stay in his carrier for a little bit or hide under a bench until he wanted to venture out. And eventually he warmed up to the situation and did. He just had to take some time and do it on his own terms. Meeting new people is much the same with him. Sometimes people will come into my room to pet him and he'll run under the bed. But lately Slate has been letting people approach him and pet him - at least for a little bit. Rushing or forcing people into situations and contexts that they aren't comfortable with isn't going to always work. Everyone is different but sometimes we just need to give them support and let them know we're here for them. Let them know that it's okay to be nervous and to not be ready to immerse themselves right away. Let your friends know that they can take their time, and you'll be here waiting with them all the while.
10. People don't like when you sh*t on things they love
This one should be taken both literally and figuratively. The literal reason is obvious, but honestly, if someone is passionate about something, you have no right to try and ruin that passion. I don't care if it's a TV show or a video game and it seems silly to you; there's a reason they harbor a love for whatever the thing is; making them feel insecure for loving is one of the worst things you can do.
11. You aren't always going to just be given what you want, you might have to work for it
I know this is something that people always tell you, but it's true, and it's not even just for serious things. Slate wanted some more Timothy Hay so he figured out how to open the box that I keep it in. Not so great a thing for me because I need to make sure he doesn't have too much, but he's happy. And apparently quite smart. So let your creative juices flow. Working for what you want is gratifying; it doesn't always have to be a pain.
12. Sometimes you have to do silly things for the people you love
Let's just get it out of the way: I bought Slate a sweater. And I know many people have qualms about animals wearing clothes, but it's just so cute! But I can tell you one thing, he does not like getting it put on. Now if he minded wearing it, I wouldn't make him, but once it's on, he doesn't care at all. So every now and then, I make him wear the sweater. But don't worry, I give him lots of treats to make up for it! Sometimes we have to do silly things for people we love. But if it makes them happy, it's kind of worth it, right?
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Having a therapy rabbit has been an adventure so far. It's certainly made me more popular because everyone wants to pet him. But he really has helped with my depression and anxiety. I love Slate, he's taught me a lot so far. And frankly, he's the only man bun that I will always love.
