I’m currently enrolled in my second semester at Utah Valley University, and all I have to say is high school does not prepare you for college at all. When I started here at UVU, I had to teach myself basic things about school and being an adult. Being a first-generation college student is tricky because not only did my high school lack the appropriate college transition strategies, but I didn’t have anyone in my family to walk me through the process either. Don’t get me wrong – even though it can be difficult at times, I love college. I haven’t been here for very long, but I’m confident this is where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to do.

Here are twelve things I wish I knew before I went to college:

1. If you are unable to stay on your parent’s health insurance while in college, make sure you set up your own policy A.S.A.P. This will prevent you from getting fined, and if you ever need to see a doctor or go to the dentist, you won’t have anything to worry about. Most agencies are willing to walk you through the process if you’re unsure of what to do or where to start.

2. I was so worried about making friends when I started fall semester because I didn’t want to spend my college years alone. It was discouraging to watch my high school friends enjoy their social lives in college when I felt like mine had yet to begin. This was partially my own fault: I chose to live off campus instead of student housing. I think it’s much easier to meet people when you live in apartment buildings full of students your age. After a couple months I found a handful of good friends that I’m lucky to have, and now I wonder why I ever stressed about it in the first place. Good friends take time to find. You can’t force or rush friendships – the best ones will fall into place with little to no effort at all.

3. Your responsibilities are YOUR responsibilities. I have to show up to class on time. I have to complete my homework. I have to go to work for my scheduled shifts. I have to keep my living space clean, and I must keep my priorities in check. Being a young adult is a weird, but nice, experience. I’ve learned a lot about myself, but most importantly I have learned that my life is going to play out the way I let it. If I choose to be productive, responsible, and persistent, my goals will be met with ease. I’m in it to win it, and I want to win it all.

4. I often find myself complaining to my friends or family about situations that occur in my life. To be quite honest with myself, I’m tired of whining all the time. I’m tired of thinking that I’m the victim, and I’m done waiting for aspects of my life to change. I recently realized that in order to experience change, I must be the change I want to see in myself. There’s not an answer-key for life: good things happen, and bad things too, but this doesn’t mean that every problem needs an answer. We’re born so we can live, encounter, experience, love, grieve, and die. I have to remind myself that it’s okay to not know why something happened the way it did, or why someone said what they said. Take every hardship with a grain of salt and look at every blessing with an open-mind – keep your chin up as you move forward.

5. If you want to maintain the relationships you have with your friends and family, you’re the one who must put in the effort. Sure, every relationship has two sides that must be met with mutual effort, but if you can’t hold up your end of the bargain, why should they? I’m impressed with the relationships I’ve maintained with my best friends from high school, even though we live in different states and don’t have the luxury of seeing each other as much as we used to. A simple call or text says a lot more than silence – don’t let them think you’ve forgotten what you had together.

6. Paying bills starts right away. Whether it’s rent, a car payment, car insurance, health insurance, utilities, phone bill, or a credit card bill, it seems like there’s always something to pay. I didn’t expect to have zero expenses or financial obligations, but I soon realized how important it is to create a budget for yourself so you can live comfortably. I’m working a part-time job right now, and while it fills my schedule and drains my energy, I can say that it’s beneficial more than anything. I’m not a “poor college student,” and I can afford a decent lifestyle for only being eighteen years old.

7. Boys do not magically mature between high school and college. They don’t suddenly start taking you on dates, treating you with respect, or going out of their way to fall in love with you. I’ll give some credit to them – they’re definitely on the road to maturity. I’ve had more doors held open for me by a male in the last 6 months than I have in my entire life. College students come to do their own thing; we all have a common, educational goal in mind, so I never let myself become discouraged by the dispassionate behaviors of men in college. I’m not here to find someone to fall in love with – I’m here to fall in love with myself, my passions, and my dreams. Bottom line: guys mature at their own pace, so don’t expect “college boys” to sweep you off your feet the first week of school.

8. I previously mentioned how important it is to maintain relationships with people. While this is true, there are some relationships you simply have to let go of – and you must learn to be okay with it. Some friendships or relationships become weak or toxic, which does no good for your self-esteem and frankly, it wastes your time. “Forever” is a long, long time, and you can’t hold yourself accountable for the friendships that don’t make it to “forever.” You have to be okay with letting people go. Let them go, let them live, and let yourself move on.

9. Don’t forget to eat. This sounds ridiculous, but when you’re swimming in commitment and responsibilities, it’s easy to go through an entire day without eating. Take a break, have a healthy snack, and breathe. How do you expect to be successful if you let your body become weaker than your mindset?

10. It is so, so, so important to study. When you’re in high school, it’s easy to skip the test preparation and barely squeeze by with a passing grade. However, when you’re in college, there’s simply too much material not to study. If you apply yourself to your studies, you’ll have a much easier time passing your classes. Trust me, there will be another party next Friday. Don’t feel embarrassed or regretful if you choose to stay in on a Friday or Saturday night. Your commitment pays off in the long run.

11. The Freshman 15 is very real. My weight fluctuates all the time, but when I started college I was not prepared for the sudden physical changes my body went through. I experienced an excessive amount of stress and had bad eating habits due to inconsistent meal times and inconvenient food options. Now that it’s second semester, I’m not stressed as much and I’ve become better at managing my time, which has allowed me to adapt to healthy eating habits and I’ve begun working out regularly. The Freshman 15 doesn’t last forever, especially if you control your behaviors, but for many people it’s inevitable.

12. Enjoy yourself. College doesn’t have to be only work. Sure, keep on top of your classes and maintain your responsibilities, but let yourself have fun. Go out on the weekends, have ice cream dates with your friends, go to late night movies, plan vacations, go on road trips, sit in coffee shops, visit cool places to hike or have a picnic. College is your time. You are letting yourself fall into a pool of education, adulthood, and growth – the least you can do is let yourself enjoy the years of your young adulthood.