My relationship with my boyfriend was a very unexpected adventure. I took the opportunity for adventure and the past year has been one of the most informative and amazing years I have ever had. Here are just a few things I have learned.
1. How to actually be a girlfriend.
Movies and books are so frustrating sometimes. I get so into them, which is great, except sometimes I get a little to into them. That is how I got my impressions of how to be a girlfriend from. Stupid, I know. After these last 12 months, however, I have had my world turned upside down – in a good way. Every person is different, and “how to be a girlfriend” is just being yourself while loving the other person and being there for the other person. They don’t want you to change, they just want to be able to love you and to be loved in return.
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2. How to love someone unconditionally outside of my family.
You were born into your family. You love them so much, but you were given your family, you didn’t choose them (I am sorry if that sounds bad. I love my family and wouldn't want any other family). In a relationship, you are choosing to love someone and give yourself to them. Like, you CHOOSE that. I think that is truly beautiful and it has been one of the most amazing learning experiences I have ever had.
3. The fun of dating my best friend.
Can I just say that it is absolutely amazing being best friends with someone before you ever start dating? When we started dating nothing even really changed except adding in the kissing and hand holding and all the lovey-dovey stuff. We were practically spending every weekend together already and talking nonstop. All we did was put a label on it and I am so happy and excited that I get to date my best friend.
4. It isn't just about me anymore.
I have never been in a relationship before this one, and I have come to realize that I have another person to think about now. I used to just be focused on me and everything that has to do with me. A relationship, however, involves two people. Both people need to be happy and comfortable and feel loved in a relationship. One person can’t get all the attention, or love. You can’t just take, you have to give too. And giving, I have found, feels SO good.
5. Spending everyday with one person is never boring.
I could literally spend every day with him for the rest of my days and not get bored. Ever. There is absolutely never a dull moment.
6. Meeting the parents (and family) is actually terrifying.
Yeah, I thought I always loved meeting new people until I had to meet his family. Was I scared? Yes. Did I try to think of every possible way to avoid it? Yes. First impressions are everything. I wanted to be as perfect as I could be and get off on the right foot, but then I also wanted to be myself. But, like, not too much like myself because I can be super weird. Ugh. In the end, everything went fine, but my anxiety levels were through the roof.
7. I will never be physically stronger than him.
I am a very competitive person. Like super competitive. That being said, I have learned one very important thing: I will never be able to beat him in the strength department. Now, I know I said I learned it, but that does NOT mean I will accept it. I will fight forever just to beat him one time. Just one time. Is that too much to ask?
8. Your significant other will get to know you extremely well.
With Brandon, I literally can't hide anything. I could be putting up the best performance ever and acting as happy as I can be, but he will see right through it. This might be annoying to some people, but I think it is so amazing. Someone knows you so well that they can tell right away something is wrong. And kind of a side note to this: I learned that you aren’t truly mad if they can make you laugh . . . just saying.
9. Communicating is HUGE.
I am not one to talk about my feelings. I have never liked doing it and I don’t think I ever will, but being in a relationship is a whole different ball game. You can’t make it work without communication. Arguments will never be settled and your relationship has no chance. This is one thing I have learned to start doing. I struggled in the beginning, but have gotten so much better. This has made a huge impact on our relationship and how we work out our issues.
10. Don’t sleep on an argument.
Every relationship has ups and downs. Don’t be naïve and think that you won’t ever argue. The difference between those who fall apart due to arguments and those who stick together is this: they communicate the ENTIRE argument and never end with unspoken words. Getting it all out and being completely honest is the only way to settle an argument and end on good terms. Plus, you will sleep SO much better when you aren’t worrying.
11. Long distance is hard - but so worth it.
I could go on and on about this one, but I won’t, don’t worry. I did not expect being apart would be as hard as it actually is. I so wish I could’ve packed my boyfriend with me when I left for college. Despite all the sad nights and missing him like crazy, it is going to be so worth it in the long run when I can finally be with him again. I always say, "if it is meant to be it will be." And boy, do I hope it is to be.
12. You really don't realize what you have until it is gone.
On top of the long-distance thing, the saying “you don’t realize what you have until it is gone” is so true. Yes, I still have my boyfriend and we are still dating, but when I left for Syracuse, I lost the physical part of him. I didn’t realize just how much I had become accustomed to being around him all the time and being able to call him on the spot and have a spontaneous Chipotle date. I am missing him so incredibly much, but it makes me realize just how much I am in love with him, and just how much I don’t want to lose him.
After one whole year of being so in love, I wouldn’t want my life any other way. I have another person who is like family to me and I am able to be my complete self around. I have the most fun when I am with him being silly and messing around. I know I will always have him to be there for me and love me. While I have learned so much already, I know the next year with him will bring so many new things as well (and I can’t wait!!!!!).
