Summer is just around the corner, and I CAN'T WAIT. Endless sunshine and long days at the pool are what I live for. For all you lifeguards out there, summer also signifies the beginning of a whole new season of yelling at kids, watching some weird swimmers, and getting super tan.
Although being a lifeguard has its perks (no dress code!), there are definitely some moments you wish you could be anywhere else. To those of you that spend most of your summer days lounging around at your public pool, here's a few things the lifeguards wish you knew.
1. We can hear every conversation you have while you're swimming, even if we don’t want to.
No, we don't eavesdrop on your conversations intentionally. We can't help it if the lifeguard stand is the prime spot to hear everything your saying. So, just keep that in mind before you tell a really embarrassing story to your friend.
2. If we don’t know your actual name, we'll just come up with another way to refer to you.
If you come to the pool wearing water shoes, eat 10 hot dogs from the snack shack, and then fall asleep on a floatie, guess what we're gonna call you?
3. Just because we're looking at you doesn't mean we want you to talk to us.
Our job is literally to watch you. It might make you feel uncomfortable at times but we are not looking at you because we think you're cute. Please leave us alone.
4. If we tell you to stop running and you fall, we won’t feel bad.
Believe it or not, the rules we enforce are really for your own good. That concrete is brutal and I don't really feel like cleaning up blood today.
5. No, you can’t come sit in the lifeguard stand just to see what it looks like up here.
It's really not that great of a view and the seat isn't that comfortable.
6. We LOVE thunderstorms.
Nothing clears out a busy pool more than some lightning and a hurricane amount of rain.
7. But, if you try to wait out the storm and keep swimming, we will not be happy.
Please just go home and come back on another hot and sunny day.
8. Just because we're friends doesn't mean we will let you break all the rules.
If you do something stupid while at the pool it makes us look really bad and it would be super embarrassing to have to rescue your own friend.
9. Please don't make a mess in the bathrooms.
I have seen too many disgusting things in there that I will never be able to burn out of my brain.
10. We don't want to judge your cannonball contest, so please stop asking.
The same rule applies to diving competitions and swimming races.
11. We are NOT babysitters.
Parents, please watch your children (especislly if they can't swim).
12. But at the end of the day, we wouldn't trade our job for the world.
Who wouldn't want to get paid to tan?
