If you've been doing it for six months or five years, you know how crazy dating a military person is. The stress, the worrying, the sacrifices you have to make on a daily basis, everything. It's insane, and it's definitely not a common path to take. Many people will learn that you're in a relationship with a service member and say, "How do you do it? I could never do that." You're one of the few, the proud, the... you know where I'm going with this. It's a big decision to date somebody in the military, and it carries with it its own unique set of challenges that you have to face on a daily basis. Here are some you've more than likely encountered if you're in a relationship with a service member:
1. Your perception of how long you're away from your significant other is dramatically different from normal couples.
"How long has it been since you guys last saw each other?" "Oh, not too long ago, about four months."
2. This subsequently leads to you becoming annoyed by people who complain about not seeing their boyfriend or girlfriend for, like, two days.
Oh, poor you. *eye roll*
3. You have a love/hate relationship with the military.
You feel that surge of pride when you see your S.O. in their uniform. You know they're part of something truly important, and they're doing something they love. But they're also part of something that takes them away from you for a hella long time and puts a huge strain on your relationship. It's complicated.
4. It's nearly impossible for you to not have your phone on you at all times.
This particularly applies if your S.O. is deployed or going through basic training. Um, missing a phone call that more than likely won't happen again for another two weeks? I don't think so.
5. You always have to uncomfortably answer this question: "Wow! How do you guys stick it out?"
Um, I don't know. We just do?
6. You feel like you never knew what it was like to truly miss someone until now.
How is it even possible to miss another human this much?
7. When you are finally together, it always feels like there's never enough time.
How do you make up for six months, a year, two years, of separation in two or three weeks, if that? There is too much to catch up on and not enough time to do it.
8. You play the waiting game all too often.
Waiting for them to get done work so you can talk, waiting for their deployment to be done, waiting until they come home on leave, waiting for them to complete basic training –– there is a reason why the phrase "hurry up and wait" is quite common in the military.
9. Skype, FaceTime, Viber and all of those other messaging apps are your best friend – and worst nightmare.
Most of the time, these apps are so amazing, and they make communication easy and convenient. But sometimes, they decide to misbehave, usually in the middle of a conversation, and you can kiss that Skype session goodbye. "Hello? Can you hear me?" "Ugh, your face is frozen again." "It's saying my internet connection is too poor to connect to video." It's the absolute worst.
10. Keeping up with military jargon is a regular challenge.
It's probably happened more than once where your S.O. was talking about their work and used some crazy sort of acronym or other military word, and you had no clue what it meant. Dating a service member means essentially learning a whole other language, and it can get pretty confusing at times.
11. If they're in uniform while you both are in public, PDA is a no-go.
Your boyfriend or girlfriend more than likely looks cute as all hell in their uniform. You probably wanna kiss them, they look so good. Well, if you're in a public space, too bad, pal. That's totally against protocol and can actually get them in a lot of trouble. This struggle is entirely too real.
12. If they're stationed in a different time zone than you, you're always calculating the time difference between you two.
"OK, so it's just about noon my time, which means that it's almost midnight where he is, so I probably shouldn't text him right now."
13. It's difficult for your friends to understand what you're going through.
Even if they're in regular long-distance relationships, they won't really understand the challenges that come with dating a service member. And how could they? Military relationships are a whole other breed of long-distance. If you're not involved in it, you can't really understand what it's like.
14. While you're pretty good at handling the stress, sometimes it's just a lot to handle (but you know it's worth it).
Being in a relationship with someone in the military is one of the most rewarding things a person can do. It teaches you a lot about emotional independence and yourself, but it's not all positives. It's also one of the hardest things a person can do. You sacrifice so much for the person that you love so they can accomplish their goals. It can really weigh on you, and sometimes it just really sucks, man. While this struggle is super real, you also have to remember the love you have for this person and that this is strengthening your relationship. It's super challenging, but knowing that your bond is tough enough to withstand the military is truly amazing.
