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The 12 Stages Of A College All-Nighter As Told By 'Parks And Rec'

Sometimes, Leslie Knope says it better.

coffeeplease

Feb 07, 2017

Abilene Christian University

The 12 Stages Of A College All-Nighter As Told By 'Parks And Rec'

Her Campus

In College, unless you have a super easy major, all-nighters are inevitable. This article is not only to remind you of that one (or nineth) time you stayed up an extra 12 hours, but to show those of you lucky souls what you're missing out on.

So without further ado, I present you the Parks and Rec version of the All-Nighter.

8:00 p.m.

The Pre-Game Warm-Up

Who thought this was a good idea? Someone tell me.

10:00 p.m.

Denial

Its easier just to believe the work will get itself done by midnight, then the alternative.

11:00 p.m.

Acceptance of Fate

Also known as the "Naive Stage": the stage in which it is believed that focus will be on your goal all night. Whoops.

12:00 a.m.

The Pep-Talk

This stage usually consists of you encouraging your classmates in an effort to convince yourself everything will be okay.

1:00 a.m.

Slow Decline

After midnight hits, emotions, energy, and patience are thrown out the window.

2:00 a.m.

The Crash

Everyone experiences the mental crash in a different way. If you can remain sane after this long, you're going places.

3:30 a.m.

The Reboot

The moment when your body lets you know you're not going down without a fight. Or coffee.

5:00 a.m.

The Crash 2.0

Yeaaah... This explains it pretty well.

7:00 a.m.

Emergency Power Mode

The stage in which your mind and body collaborate to create an hour long lethal weapon of endurance. God bless the miracle that is the body.

7:30 a.m.

The 30-Minute Dash

The only thing getting you through this train wreck is the thought of your bed.

8:00 a.m.

The After-Party

Congrats! You successfully pulled an all-nighter! Usually consists of highfive-ing and crying simultaneously.

8:01 a.m.

Instant Regret and Endless Coffee

Well, at least you tried right? This is usually the time when you swear to never do this again. Yeaaaah... No.

Until next time, All-Nighter, it was nice knowing you.

Kinda.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The 12 Stages Of A College All-Nighter As Told By 'Parks And Rec'

Sometimes, Leslie Knope says it better.

8:00 p.m.

10:00 p.m.

11:00 p.m.

12:00 a.m.

1:00 a.m.

2:00 a.m.

3:30 a.m.

5:00 a.m.

7:00 a.m.

7:30 a.m.

8:00 a.m.

8:01 a.m.

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It's happening.

Excitement

Relief

Excitement (again)

Sadness

Feeling Lost During Syllabus Week? You're Not Alone!

The professor starts to go over something more than the syllabus

You get homework assigned on the first day of class

There are multiple group projects on the syllabus

You learn attendance is mandatory and will be taken every class

Professor starts chatting about their personal life and what inspired them to teach this class

Participation is mandatory and you have to play "icebreaker games"

Everybody is going out because its 'syllabus week' but you're laying in bed watching Grey's Anatomy

Looking outside anytime past 8 PM every night of this week

Nobody actually has any idea what's happening this entire week

Syllabus week is over and you realize you actually have to try now...or not

Chips, apple or bread?

1. You own so many pairs of khaki pants you don’t even know what to do with them

2. Chips, apple or bread is probably your most repeated phrase

3. Taking bakery items with you out to parties was a must

4. Taking bakery items home to your parents was also a must (if you wanted to live)

5. Your friends expected you to give them free stuff

6. Being put on dishes made you question humanity

7. You saw everyone and their mother (especially their mothers)

8. Working the opening shift was actually the worst thing to ever happen to you

9. Being able to predict what people would order

10. Making coffee was your least favorite thing to do

11.Being put on the dining room was the absolute WORST

12. Secretly putting in your Panera card number when other people didn’t have them or want them.

13. You would still come in on days you weren’t working to take advantage of your discount

It's Been a Long Winter Break

Making the world safer through language.

1. Use singular they for people whose pronouns you don't know, people who use those pronouns, and stop using him/her.

2. Stop using the words "opposite sex" or "both sexes" or "opposite gender" or "both genders".

3. Ask people's pronouns when you meet them.

4. Use the word cisgender.

5. Stop saying "born a boy/girl" about a transgender or non-binary person.

6. Stop using the term 'preferred pronouns'.

7. Stop using a transgender or non-binary person's dead name.

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