People are very diverse and complex creatures. There are many different characteristics that one can use to be described, but if you’re like me, you’ve always been defined primarily as one thing. You are, and always will be, the “red head”. Doesn’t matter how old you get and what stages you grow out of, I can firmly say that after 18 years of living and having done many things in my life, I am still and forever am, Red. Some might try to run from their fate, but let me advise you that the best thing to do is just embrace the fact and let that inner flame burn brightly.
Even though denying the evident might be something you try to do, here are 12 signs that manifest the essence of being truly and irrevocably so, a red head.
1. You have more nicknames than you ever intended (or wanted) to have.
“Ginger” doesn’t even begin to cover the obscene amount of names people have come up with and called you over the years. “Day-walker”, “Soul-Sucker” and “Freckle Fart” are only to list a few, without getting too vulgar.
2. People always assume you’re from Ireland.
For some reason, it’s shocking to the American public that not all of us redheads came from the country of potatoes and leprechauns. No, we don’t all have heritage there, and no we aren’t related to or have anything to do with the Wendy’s girl.
3. You have 50 shades of sunscreen.
You are the go to person when it comes to all different forms, brands and application methods of sunscreen. Whether it’s spray or lotion, Coppertone or Banana Boat, you have it all.
4. You have your mom’s daily sun safety warning speech memorized to a “T”.
No matter how many times you go outside, no matter the activity, your mother always stresses the importance of slathering on a solid two to three layers of that blasted devil liquid. Skin cancer is something you’ve become an expert upon due to the amount of miscellaneous facts she’s force fed down your throat on the subject.
5. No matter how many burns you’ve received in the past you think somehow, you can and WILL become a tan, Greek Goddess, no matter what life has in store for you.
They tell you mindset is everything. If you think you can, you can. But I guess the old adage of “everything is possible” isn’t necessarily applicable for your case. It’s a good thing us red heads have a proven higher pain tolerance though because when you burn, you peel, excessively. Then immediately after the peeling you seem to somehow have gotten more pale than you were before.
6. Your friends’s “pale” is your “tan beyond your wildest dreams”. A level you will, never, in your entire life, reach.
We all have that friend that constantly complains about “being so white” come every winter season. At least you don’t really ever have that problem, being that white is a constant state for you no matter the level of sun exposure.
7. All those colors that no one likes are ironically so the ones that look best on you.
Ranging from that pea soup green sweater you have to the puss yellow tank top, somehow you look phenomenal in them all! Shopping and finding the right size is typically fairly easy in that regard due to the fact that no one ever seems to want the colors that you need.
8. You get some sort of text, Snapchat or reference on Facebook daily making fun of you or stating that you are, in fact, a redhead.
Whether it’s one of those memes commemorating one of our many holidays such as “National Kick a Ginger Day” or “National Kiss Me, I’m a Ginger Day”, or some pun commenting on our innate feistiness or red nature, our friends and family always think they can hit us with something we’ve never seen or heard before.
9. You NEVER pose in front of white objects or backgrounds for pictures. Ever.
Marble statues? Probably not a good idea. Snowy hills? Don’t even think about it. White picket fence? Picture suicide. Absolutely abort the mission.
10. You've thought about forming an apocalyptic bunker or hidden community due to fear of extinction.
We've all heard it. Some of us believe it. But the near coming of extinction in the redheaded race, whether it's real or not, is something we've all thought about and don't know if we find it kind of cool or terrifying.
11. You are constantly trying to find ways to make “being a ginger” more of a cool thing.
Doesn’t matter what you say or do, this is just something that will never be cool. That is unless you talk to your hairdresser, then they think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Last but not least…
12. Wherever you go, whatever you do, you’re one of a kind! You are some three percent of the population, it’s something to be proud of despite the sometimes unpopular characteristics.
