1. With mom around, there's ALWAYS something to do
2. No one can sh*t on your life worse than your mom
3. With Mexican moms, you don't need doctors
4. You know you did something bad and they're passive aggressive about it when they tell the police to take you
5. When you misbehave at a party and your mom tells you to wait until you get home...
6. ... then you get home and realize she wasn't lying
7. When there's no clear definition of what being fat and not fat enough means
8. When she makes something she knows you don't like and then gets sassy about it
9. You're in for a new adventure every time you open the fridge. You think you're taking out the sour cream? Nope, it's just more salsa.
10. If you do something dumb, it's best not to tell your mom
11. When novela time is sacred
12. But no matter what, she will always be there for you. Literally.