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12 Ridiculous Predictions To Lighten Up Post-Election America

Some things that I think would be hilarious if they actually happened

Anisha Koilpillai

Nov 21, 2016

Florida Southern College

12 Ridiculous Predictions To Lighten Up Post-Election America

USA Today

We need some lightness in terms of dealing with the election results, and while Obama-Biden memes are stellar, I decided to add my own silliness to the fray. As we move on from that chaotic night, I've decided to compile a list of ridiculous things that might not ever happen under a Trump America, but things that I think would be completely funny if it actually did happen. These are not all Trump-related things, but definitely some are things that I've been thinking a "perfect" America would have.

1. Taco truck on every corner

A dream come true.

2. Gilded buildings on every block

3. "Bigly" gets added to the dictionary

4. No more 8 AM's

Pleaseeeeeee

5. No more lectures

Legit

6. No more "experience required" jobs

7. So much winning

8. Everyone gets tired of winning

9. Adequate parking

10. Discounted Tic Tacs

11. A wall

The wall is definitely not going to happen. Congress wouldn't let it

12. Coffee IV's

Let's see if I'm proven wrong, shall we?

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12 Ridiculous Predictions To Lighten Up Post-Election America

Some things that I think would be hilarious if they actually happened

1. Taco truck on every corner

2. Gilded buildings on every block

3. "Bigly" gets added to the dictionary

4. No more 8 AM's

5. No more lectures

6. No more "experience required" jobs

7. So much winning

8. Everyone gets tired of winning

9. Adequate parking

10. Discounted Tic Tacs

11. A wall

12. Coffee IV's

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All names should be "unisex names."

1. Communicating via email can be awkward.

2. Appointments usually accompany weird looks.

3. Introducing yourself to someone is never without a hitch.

4. You’ve probably thought about changing your name.

5. You’re often asked why you have the name you do.

6. You get excited when you meet someone of your gender with your name.

7. You feel awkward when you meet someone of the opposite gender with your name.

8. You’ve had someone say to you, “I knew a [your name], but they were [your opposite gender].”

9. You’ve heard a bad joke/pick-up line or two about your name before.

10. People are surprised when they see you.

11. You’re extra sensitive to other unique or unisex names.

12. You’ve fought with your parents about it.

13. All things considered, you’re happy your name makes you unique.

You know that all of these things apply to you. You'll just never tell.

I get it... I'm pale.

1. At least I can't lose you in a crowd!

2. Oh my goodness your skin is like glow-in-the-dark.

3. Can't you just get fake tan?

4. Do you tan or just burn?

5. Your kids are going to look like Casper the Friendly Ghost!

6. *holds arm against your arm* Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. *holds pale arm against another pale arm* Aw, at least you're darker than her!

8. I laid out by the pool almost every day over break!

9. I haven't used sunscreen since I was, like, five.

10. *adjusts selfie lighting to their face* Oops, where'd you go??

11. *after working out* Your face is SO red!

12. *wears white* Look! You're all one color!

13. You need to get some sun.

14. Aren't you excited for summer?

The struggle bus is real.

1. Child prodigies:

2. Hearing other musicians in the practice room next door and accepting that you will never be as talented as them:

3. That anxiety that takes over before every performance:

4. Taking a million 0 credit classes:

5. When there's a paper due the next day, but you have to attend yet another concert in order to pass a 0 credit class:

6. When your friends try to encourage you after a performance, even though you are criticizing everything in your mind:

7. Knowing that there's always that one professor during juries:

8. The oh-so-attractive band/choir uniforms:

9. Realizing that a college campus is maybe not the best atmosphere to finish your latest composition:

10. Hearing "Oh, you sing opera? I LOVE Phantom of the Opera!" for the hundredth time:

11. When people think finals week is a breeze for you.

12. When you're drowning in the stress that comes with 18+ credits (and not to mention all those 0 credit classes) and people ask you how you are:

13. When it all comes down to it, though, you know that at the end of the day, music is your passion:

Because you need it in your life.

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6. holds arm against your arm Look how much darker I am compared to you!

7. holds pale arm against another pale arm Aw, at least you're darker than her!

10. adjusts selfie lighting to their face Oops, where'd you go??

11. after working out Your face is SO red!

12. wears white Look! You're all one color!