You might be asking me, where has Vladimir Putin been all my life?! The answer is Russia.

1. He'll serenade you. I skipped past his piano solo just so you could get to the part that matters. Now you can have sweet blueberry dreams of Putin and his musical skills. Can I add that this brilliant solo was to raise money for children? What a philanthropist.

2. As an American woman, my blood clearly runs red, white, and guns. And who would look better toting a gun than a Russian man? The right to bear an assault rifle is so hot.

3. The only thing more badass than toting an assault rifle is riding a motorcycle, preferably without a helmet just so your mom can dislike him. Putin’s biker gang is banned from the US, which is even cooler. Putin’s biker name, Abaddon, roughly translates to “The Destroyer.” Destroy my heart, Vlad!

4. He’s a team player! When he’s not (arguably) fixing elections, he’s amicably snowmobiling with Russian PM Dmitry Medvedev. What a babe.

5. His keen sense of style is unmatched. Clearly, his sense of diplomacy and fashion intertwine on an international level. How politically acute!

6. He’s such an athlete! It’s proven science that ladies love a man who can play sports, so here are some of his finest athletic achievements:

He scored against Russia's national team's hockey goalie. It looks like the goalie really tried!

Here he is clearly dominating at Judo. Did you know your new boyfriend has a sixth degree black belt? I’m sure he earned it!

Here he is swimming in Siberian waters. Lead a country? Lead my heart.

7. I don't need a caption. Are you writing the wedding vows or is he? He probably will.

8. He wants kids, too. The difference between Vladimir Putin and your ex-boyfriend, though, is that Vladdie will hire Boyz II Men to get you in the mood.

9. Obama plays basketball? That's nothing. Putin rides horses. Shirtless.

10. He's a hero! As future Mrs. Putin, you should know that your husband-to-be saved a camera crew from an animal attack, and did it so quickly and bravely that they didn't have time to film it.

11. He's interested in history, so your dad will like him. Putin went surface diving in the Black Sea and quickly returned with ancient Greek pottery that "him and the boys found." He admitted it was a hoax, but it's the thought that counts! I'm sure all the Grecian ladies were impressed.

12. Last but certainly not least, he's a leader. Everyone knows birds have no idea how to migrate and as a world leader, Putin knew he needed a solution. So, he led these scared and confused endangered birds on their migrational path. Watch this inspiring video (as if you needed any more proof).

Because I know you now want nothing more than Vladimir Putin in your life, I've helped you out. Enjoy!