This pretty much speaks for itself, y'all. School work is a fiery, never-ending abyss of loneliness and binge-eating ice cream at 3 a.m.. Facebook is a fabulous virtual world of puppy videos, Ed Sheeran and Beyoncé mash ups, Donald Trump memes and pregnancy announcements. If you're even slightly conflicted about which is better, I'll let you study my anatomy notes for an hour and then tell me how you feel.
1. Make-Up Tutorials
I have so many questions. Are those false eyelashes? How is her winged eyeliner so perfect? I need to see every shade of gold eyeshadow and I need to see it now.
Meanwhile this is me putting on makeup.
2. Pictures of my Baby Cousins
Long eyelashes. Chubby cheeks. Cute aggression is real.
(My actual baby cousins decline to have their pictures posted because they don't want to be stared at by some weird 40-year-old in his basement).
3. Updates about the boy I dated in middle school
Or the mean girl in middle school, or the person that was ugly in middle school but has magically become attractive in the last five minutes. I still look the same, but it's whatever.
4. Videos of puppies interacting with other animals
No explanation needed.
5. My Cousin's Crafty Cookies
I love my family and I love their affinity for baked goods. I love eating them, I love looking at them -- that's all there is to it.
Frozen characters + sugary deliciousness? Heck yes.
6. Posts from Dummies Who Have No Clue What They're Talking About
If I see another post about "Why Moe's Will Always Be Superior to Chipotle" or "Donald Trump is Not the Idiot He Seems to Be" then I'll flip. Why am I morally superior to these people?
7. Seeing Cool Things My Friends are Doing
On a very real note, my friends are #wanderlustgoals, #artsygoals, and #everythinggoals. So seeing their photography, college acceptances and study abroad pictures make me happy because they're infinitely cooler than I am.
8. News Updates
Is Charlie Sheen on Parole? What happened to all my favorite 90's stars? How am I supposed to know that Nancy Reagan died unless Facebook tells me?
9. Arguments Between Old People I Don't Know
I find myself 10 hours deep in a thread on my great aunt's Facebook post where her and her friends are valiantly dueling about which brand of mixer is best. I'm invested in the lady supporting KitchenAid, but I don't want anyone to win because spectating is just too good.
10. Hearing about Trends I Didn't Know Existed
Rainbow bagels?? Hover boards that aren't really hover boards?? Will wonders ever cease?
11. Watching disturbing/weird videos
I don't want to watch these, but I can't stop and I have to see this girl's full face of wolf makeup.
12. I Have Two Tests Next Week
My anatomy and nursing classes have no mercy, folks. So I'll be in my bed taking BuzzFeed quizzes while you do productive things with your life.
