"The Bachelor" and "The Bachelorette" are easily the most simultaneously beloved and hated reality franchise on TV. While people trash talk the show, they can't seem to resist turning on their TV's every Monday night to watch people "fall in love" before their eyes. We all know that "Bachelor in Paradise" is 10 times trashier than the regular "Bachelor/Bachelorette" series, but people (myself included) can't seem to stay away... I have analyzed my obsession and these are 12 reasons that I think explain why "Bachelor in Paradise" is the best reality show on TV:
1. Chad
Is there an actual diagnosis here or is he just that dumb? His love of lunch meat, himself and the bottle have made him America’s most infamous bully. Dude- I hope when you got booted, you went straight to sensitivity training.
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However, there is such a thing as too much sensitivity, which brings us to…
2. Evan’s tank tops (and goatee)
I can’t quite figure out this hipster weasel. As a guy who works with erectile disfunction, you would think he’d have things a little more dialed in. Hey man, Carly actually vomited after you two kissed- TAKE A HINT. How, how I ask you, does this man have two children??
3. Josh's moaning
Whether he’s eating pizza, sucking face with Amanda, or doing both at the same time (ew!) the sound editors put this porno groan on a constant loop and went out to lunch.
Honorable mention: his overactive sweat glands (double ew!) and how Amanda pretends not to notice
4. A chance to tell the twins apart
Poor Brandon went home because he couldn’t tell the difference, but the real question is, Haley or Emily, Emily or Haley, does anyone really care?
5. Ashley I's crying
I need to get me some of that girl’s waterproof mascara.
A quick note to Jared— Stop leading this poor girl on! You think you’re being nice, but just rip that band-aid off already.
6. Cailia's hair
She is a walking Pantene ad. From the hairline down, just squinty eyes and boooooring, but, oh, that hair!
Speaking of hair, or the lack thereof…
7. Lace’s extensions
Why The Face? Who is this girl fooling? If you choose to go this route, IN MEXICO, choose the correct color, a material resembling real hair, and for God’s sake, do not let your drunk friend put them in for you. On second thought, maybe she put them in herself?!?
8. Jorge wisdom
Bartenders have always doled out advice with drinks, and in Paradise both are free flowing. Maybe it’s because he’s the only one who’s not drunk, but when he warns Amanda about Josh, Ashley about Jared, and everyone about Chad, he’s spot on. If only the contestants had their personal belongings, maybe he’d get a tip.
9. Daniel’s Canadian crazy
That speedo, those abs, that thing with the syrup (!). Just when you think he’s a complete Hoser, he says something super sweet and insightful and you’re hooked on this Canuck.
10-12.
Milwaukee’s own Nick, Nick, Nick. He’s so nice I named him thrice. Three little words. Re. Demp. Tion. He’s from Milwaukee, I’m from Milwaukee… If only I’d met him before he met Andi and Kaitlyn and Amanda and Jen and became the hottest, funniest, most adorable non-bachelor in the Bachelor Franchise.
Needless to say, this show is the perfect combination of both sleazy and superb. I'm not ashamed to say that watching "Bachelor in Paradise" is my guilty pleasure and makes Monday's my second favorite day of the week (next to Friday of course!)... TGIM, anyone??
