So you're an adult now and you've finally entered the "real world" everyone has warned you about. Don't stress it, "adulthood" is stress-free and easy living. No responsibilities to worry about other than what you're going to eat tonight and what fun plans you will have this weekend! Adulthood is awesome.
1. You get to pay your own bills
Because who doesn't love getting their paycheck and spending half of it on bills within the first two days?
2. More bills then you can count
It's not just one bill, it's a phone, cable, car, utilities, insurance, house/apt/rent, etc. bill. And if you want the luxuries like memberships to gyms or food stores you need to pay those too! (Easy right?)
3. You have to buy your own groceries
$14 for steak? That's fine by me!
4. There's no longer a summer break
I love working all year now, especially in 81 degree weather.
5. Making responsible decisions all the time
Every day is spent making decisions that'll better your future, because who doesn't love choosing putting gas in your car rather then spending $35 on shots at a bar?
6. Paying taxes
Realizing that when you lost your W-2 forms, you were extremely f***ed.
7. Having to work the rest of your life
Oh I don't have a summer? Or spring break? Or winter break? Or off-time ever? That's OK, I wont mind working until I'm 64 and finally get retirement.
8. Skipping work isn't like skipping classes
Don't feel good? Or so tired that your eyes are closing themselves? Doesn't matter cause missing work means missing money and that's not a responsible choice an adult can make!
9. Going to doctors appointments alone
You can't just look at your parents anymore and have them explain what's wrong or what hurts.
10. Repaying student loans
Yeah, that $30,000 you took out to party for four years has to be repaid in increments that will make you cry.
11. Cleaning up after yourself
No one's there to tell you that you need to wash your dishes or do your laundry, but after you eat cereal out of a Tupperware and wear those dirty slacks three days in a row, you know it's time.
11. Yard work is totally awesome and fun
Finally it's the weekend and you have two days to relax. What better way to relax then mowing the lawn and trying to figure out why the hell your sprinkler is broken?
12. You can eat anything you want
Especially fast food, eating anything you want whenever you want it is amazing. Don't worry about that Big Mac you just devoured on your 30-minute lunch break, seven days straight in the gym should take care of it!
(P.S. This is all a joke, adulthood sucks.)