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12 Perfect Responses When Someone Asks If You're Single

"No man could handle this level of fabulousness."

Jul 02, 2019

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12 Perfect Responses When Someone Asks If You're Single

I don't know what it is about a woman without a ring on her finger, but somehow we give off this vibe that seems to inherently say, "Ask me if I'm dating anyone!" To which my answer is, and has been for the past three years, "No." I have said this with varying degrees of bitterness - currently, there's no bitterness at all. I love being single. If someone came along to change that fact, would I complain? No. But I still love where I'm at. Yet here is the invariable response to my negative reply: "Oh. Well, that's okay."

I know it's okay, people. So here are some responses I've come up with that vary a bit from the usual, "No." I have some serious ones, and some not-so-serious. Enjoy!

"Why? I don't know who the right guy is yet."

wait for it thor GIF by Nerdist.com

It's not that I haven't met him. It's that I don't KNOW WHO HE IS. It's possible that I haven't met him yet. So why should I rush into anything and be looking if I'm not sure?

"Why isn't everyone?"

joey tribbiani whatever GIF

Seriously. This is a pretty sweet deal, when you think about it.

"I guess I just have incredibly high standards."

go away goodbye GIF

This is beneficial, especially if the person inquiring after your singleness is an eager, probably well-meaning young man who is on the verge of expressing interest but doesn't quite fit said standards. Or, on the other hand...

"I read too many books, watch too many movies, and listen to too many love songs to have realistic expectations."

pride and prejudice love GIF

This will at least get an uncomfortable laugh out of the asker when they see that you, too, are laughing. Because Jane Austen proposals, friends.

"I'm too busy to date right now."

busy bel powley GIF by Carrie Pilby The Movie

Okay, admittedly this is a bit of a double standard. Because if I weren't single, I'd MAKE time. But still, the argument could be made. And in this day and age, if there's one thing people understand, it's being busy.

"So is Tom Holland."

tom holland applause GIF by Spider-Man: Homecoming

I'm still holding out hope here, guys.

"I never understand the rush to find someone."

south park GIF

Notice the use of present tense. I use that because anyone who knew me five years ago may have grounds to incriminate me for perjury. High school and first half of college Rachel are infinitely different than final half of college Rachel. But seriously, dating is not a Black Friday sale.

"Are you kidding? No man could handle this level of fabulous."

fail ice hockey GIF by NHL

As I trip over my own shoelace.

"I'm waiting on the right one."

wait for it hamilton GIF by Quartz

I know, it's old, it's cheesy. But old and cheesy are also tried and true. To the slightly cynical response of, "There is no right one!" ...

"You sad, sweet little cinnamon roll of death."

30 rock comfort GIF

Seriously. I know many happy couples who would beg to differ. Ask me about the shades of gray on that one later.

"Why get ahead of God?"

wait waiting GIF

Again, old, but tried and true. And, speaking of Biblical responses, my personal favorite:

"Well, on the advice of the apostle Paul..."

prayer GIF

I cannot take credit for this one, but I love it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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12 Perfect Responses When Someone Asks If You're Single

"No man could handle this level of fabulousness."

"Why? I don't know who the right guy is yet."

"Why isn't everyone?"

"I guess I just have incredibly high standards."

"I read too many books, watch too many movies, and listen to too many love songs to have realistic expectations."

"I'm too busy to date right now."

"So is Tom Holland."

"I never understand the rush to find someone."

"Are you kidding? No man could handle this level of fabulous."

"I'm waiting on the right one."

"You sad, sweet little cinnamon roll of death."

"Why get ahead of God?"

"Well, on the advice of the apostle Paul..."

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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