Near the end of every college semester, in every college everywhere, there comes a time of hardship and trial.
This daunting time is a result of combined essays, projects, quizzes, and approaching finals at the end of the year. This week is the gauntlet of college study, separating the strong from the weak.
This trial of endurance is called Dead Week, and all college students can relate to these 12 mental stages of the dark week of the night...
1. Revelation
This is the moment that you realize the extent of your Thanksgiving procrastination. It's kind of like finding $20 in your pocket, except the $20 is two 10-page essays and a group project.
2. Preparation
This usually involves coffee. It's important to note that preparation is as much mental as it is physical.
3. Productivity
This is the ideal stage of Dead Week. The initial surge can last anywhere between 30 minutes and two days, sleep optional.
4. Sleep Deprivation
You've been awake for 36 hours. This stage is the true test of courage.
5. Existential Crisis
6. Fantasy
This is you gazing at Christmas in the distance, and realizing how much you have to do first.
7. Restoration
When I say power nap, I mean power nap. You discover if it is possible to get 7 hours of sleep in less than 40 minutes.
8. Salvation
Your BFF pulls through and wakes you up from the nap that became three hours of near-death slumber.
9. Retaliation
You do not appreciate this. However, deep down you know they saved your butt.
10. Provision
Your squad goes for a midnight emergency coffee run. The limited options mean that you may end up going to McDonalds.
11. Skepticism
This is the face you make when you wonder if it is, actually, coffee.
12. Prioritization
You have become a master of calculating priorities.
13. Work
'Nuff said. Sleep is for the weak.
14. Satisfaction
The face of exhaustion, of endurance... of victory.
15. Slay
You go forth and crush it.
