Growing up, we thought adulthood was going to be amazing. We imagined high school, driver's licenses, senior prom, graduating, going to college, experiencing life and living to the fullest. But as we began to grow up, we start to realize that life throws some curve balls. People aren't always as great as you thought, and getting your driver's license comes with the fender-benders and speeding tickets. Leaving high school means leaving a chapter of your life, and entering college is opening a whole new and overwhelming door. While we grow up, step-by-step, we begin to realize that life isn't as easy or glorious as our younger selves thought. There are challenges, big and little, that force us to grow up and adjust to life. Even though part of life is making our own mistakes, and learning our own lessons, there are a few life lessons I wish someone would have told me from the start.
1. People are going to hurt your feelings.
Not everyone will. A lot of people are great. A lot of people are not so great. Even your friends will hurt your feelings from time to time, and sometimes your friends can be even more hurtful than strangers. People will say things about you that aren't true, and sometimes people won't like you as much as you like them.
2. People are going to break your heart.
Whether it be a girlfriend, boyfriend, or bestfriend, your heart is going to get broken. A romance coming to an end is painful, and the loss of a friend and friendship can hurt just as badly, if not worse. It might happen once, twice, or many more times, but everyone's heart is going to carry some scars.
3. Your hurt feelings and your broken heart is not the end.
As cliched as it is, when one door closes, another opens. Some people aren't meant to stay in your life, they're meant to be there briefly and teach a lesson. Your hurt feelings won't last forever, and you'll toughen up because of them. Eventually you learn that your feelings and your heart will mend, and help you grow to a beautiful person.
4. People usually have a good reason, so give them the benefit of the doubt.
That missed call, and the few hours it took to answer your text; it's not the end of the world. Their phone probably died or they got held up at work. Your date is running late? You're probably not getting stood up, they probably had to call their mom or change their outfit, or fix their makeup (to look better for you). People usually have a good reason for something.
5. The worst thing you can do is overreact, or jump to conclusions.
Remember #4? Overreacting about that missed call, thinking that you're being stood up, or concluding that someone is just plain ignoring you can cause a lot of unnecessary drama, and a lot of hurt feelings.
6. The problem might not be them, it might be you.
This one comes in all shapes and sizes. If someone falls out of your life, did they walk out because they wanted to, or because you drove them away? Is your relationship getting rocky because your partner is growing distant, or are you the one making the space? Having problems trusting your girlfriend or boyfriend, without any reason? The problem isn't them, it might be you.
7. If someone doesn't like you, it's not your job to change their mind.
No one wants to feel like someone doesn't like them. If it is a romantic pursuit gone wrong, or someone who just doesn't seem to like you, don't worry about it. It's none of your business what people think of you, and if they don't like you for who you are, you wouldn't want them in your life anyway, would you?
8. Don't let the internet rule your thinking
We live in a world where we are constantly inundated with thousands of forms of information daily. Before you click on that article that tells you how you should act, how to tell if your relationship is doomed, how you know that someone loves you, or any other of the vague topics that crop up, realize that these are stranger's opinions. Each person and relationship is different. Don't let strangers rule how you think or act, just because you saw it on the internet.
9. Don't judge someone without knowing them... In fact, don't judge people at all.
You will never know someone based on the clothes they wear or the way they walk, talk, or act in a group of strangers. Before you think you know who someone is, you should actually get to know who they are. People are complex and multi-layered things. They cannot be known instantly or based off of superficial things. And once you do know someone better, you still shouldn't judge them.
10. Everyone messes up.
So you were late to class, missed an assignment, bombed a test, or rear-ended someone at a red light. We all make mistakes, and you an never expect perfection out of anyone, including yourself. So don't be too hard on yourself, and realize that the best thing to do with a mistake is learn from it.
11. You're going to be OK.
There will be challenges, curve balls, good and bad times. But you are strong. You are strong enough fall down, pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep moving. The world is yours, and everything will work out in the end.
12. Life isn't easy, but it sure is worth it.
Must I say any more than that?
