In life we take part in many relationships, both friendly and romantic. Each person you choose to share your life with in a closer way teaches you a lesson that helps mold you into who you are and who you're on your way to becoming. These lessons are learned in many different ways and impact you on different levels, hopefully leading to a brighter and happier future, with healthy relationships to come. Here's the top 12 things I've learned from past relationships.
1. Communication is more important than you think.
Sure, when arguing with someone it would be easier to stubbornly declare that you are right, and the other person is wrong without hearing their side of the issue and where they are coming from. There have been plenty of times where I've caught myself doing this, and disregarding how another person feels, but consider this; If this individual is someone who is significant and important to you, why would you not hear them out? Open communication is vital to maintaining a healthy relationship with a person. Simply listening to how the other person is feeling in the situation will help clear the air of any confusions that will make the initial issue and argument worse.
2. Compromise.
In my past indiscretions and selfish ways, I've learned that a happy friendship and a happy relationship includes something that many people don't like to do, which is to compromise. Both of you should have different interests and passions in addition to those that are similar. For instance, if you and a friend are going out for dinner but you would both like to eat at different places, compromise can be reached in a positive way without it being a sacrifice. Finding a middle ground that is beneficial to both parties is key to having a balanced and healthy relationship.
3. Different interests are okay and important.
As nice as it is to find a person who is interested in all the same exact things that you're interested in, it's important to have separate interests as well. Your differences are what make you unique individuals with different passions and that's okay! If you love all the same things, there won't be any surprises to discover along the way and that'll lead to being stuck in a boring routine every time you hang out. Having different interests means you get to share another cool part of your life with a person by showing them why your passion is so interesting!
4. It's the little things that matter the most.
A person will remember the little moments you share together fondly because these are the moments that define your connection and relationship with each other. Showing that you care about a person in little ways will leave the both of you happy. It could be something as little as remembering their Taco Bell order or buying them that drink from the coffee shop down the road they love so much, a small act of kindness toward them will be the most appreciated thing you'll do.
5. Don't be so serious all the time.
Remember to have fun! Being close with a person is an opportunity to make so many memories and special moments. Laugh, have adventures, explore. There's a time and a place for being serious, but being with someone you're close to isn't always one. You'll thank yourself for this later on when you have great memories and inside jokes to reminisce on.
6. Sometimes what is comfortable for you, isn't always what is best.
Some times in relationships we often become comfortable with a person because they are familiar. Although this a good thing, it can become a crutch that you rely on too heavily. A relationship with a person should not stunt your growth in life or hinder any great moments or chances you have. Becoming too comfortable might lead to missing out on great life experiences that will help you move toward your future.Growth is important, constantly using a significant other as a security blanket isn't good. This leads into my next lesson.
7. Sometimes things just don't work out.
Sometimes things just don't work out, and that's okay. In some cases, maintaining a relationship with a person can become draining and unhealthy. When this happens, it's best to just move on even if it's difficult to. In the end, your own happiness is what you will live with and it should be cherished by you. If you find your self feeling unhappier, or are experiencing a harmful relationship, it may be time to move forward.
8. Encouragement and support is necessary.
When life gets a little hard, it can be nice to have someone cheering you on from the sidelines. Encouraging another person to follow their passions and to achieve their goals is important no matter how impossible or daunting their task may seem. Support and encouragement proves you care about what happens in their life and can even show them how proud they make you. You never know, you may be the only one supporting their decisions and that means a lot to a person.
9. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself.
In any situation, if something you don't like is happening or you feel uncomfortable, don't hesitate to stand up for yourself. If you find yourself in a situation where you are being put down or made fun of and you are not okay with this, say something. Let your boundaries be known, and make the other person aware that you aren't okay with whatever is happening. Standing up for yourself shows that you are in charge of what happens to you, not any one else. You are in charge of your life and this fact should be respected.
10. If you can travel with them and not argue about something, they're probably a keeper.
Okay, this one is a little silly but it's definitely true. If you can travel with a person and not have a moment where you argue over how lost you are or how long it's taking, they're probably patient and understand where you're actually coming from when you get a little crabby. Not arguing on a long trip makes it more enjoyable and the two of you can focus more on having fun together, which is what's really important.
11. Dishonesty and cheating really hurts.
Unfortunately in life, there are a few people who experience dishonesty in a relationship and/or cheating occurs. To put it bluntly, it sucks. Realizing someone you felt you were able to trust has lied and went behind your back to see someone else just plain hurts. Too often we let ourselves fester in unhappiness and "could haves" or " should haves." Stewing on the negativity will upset you more in the long run. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and free yourself by moving on to a better situation. There isn't a prescribed time line for this either, just heal at your own pace.
12. Privacy is key.
People naturally create boundaries for themselves and these boundaries should be respected. If a person needs a little alone time, that should be respected. A person may not be willing to openly share as you are, or may just prefer to keep things private. Allowing them their personal privacy will lead to a more trusting foundation to the relationship and will encourage open dialogue if you feel something isn't right. Instead of going through their phone or scouring their private social media accounts, it's much easier to just bring up an issue no matter how uncomfortable it may be.
