1. Age Appropriate Maturity

Is he 31 pretending to be 21? Is he still living like a college kid and letting his parents pay his credit card bills? Does he have any career goals? Is he already working toward those goals?

Having a man that makes you laugh and loves to be his total goofy self around you is important, but there's a difference between a man who loves to goof off, and someone who constantly acts like a man-child.

2. Responsible

Does he wake up and go to work every morning, or does he like to call in sick? Does he go grocery shopping for himself, or is he going through a drive-thru every night? Does he take care of himself? His property? His pets?

The older you get, the more responsibilities are tacked on. You need someone that will be able to balance his work life and home life, while keeping his priorities straight.

3. Dependable

Does he follow through with his plans? If he promises to be somewhere, does he show up on time? Would he pause a video game to come help you change your flat tire in the rain? Would he answer his phone when there's an emergency at 3:00 a.m. and you need him?

Finding someone dependable does not mean you have to fully rely on him for everything. It means having someone who will be there for you no matter what— because he knows you would do the same for him.

4. Trustworthy

Would you trust him with your car? Your house? Your kids? Your fur-babies? Would you trust him to stay true to you when times are tough? Would you trust him when he's out late with the boys? Or are you constantly wondering what he's doing or who he's really with?

These worries don't magically disappear with wedding bands. Make sure you trust him with your life before you put your future in his hands. I have a personal rule that if we can't trust each other enough to avoid signing a prenup, there's no point in staying together. I don't want to marry someone who requires a safety net or has a backup plan "just in case."

5. Caring

Would he take you to the doctor when you're feeling under the weather? Would he hold your hair back when your head is in the toilet? (Or clean up the floor when you didn't quite make it there?) Would he do the same for your future children? Would he stay home when your baby girl has a fever on a weekday? Would he get up at 2:00 a.m. to change a dirty diaper?

If he's not the kind of man to surprise your sniffling self with a bowl of soup or a box of tissues, lose him. You'll never be able to make someone care when they don't. If he doesn't take care of you now, don't expect him to change in the future.

6. Cautious

Does he drink too much on the weekends? Does he drink and drive with you in the car? He promises to keep you safe— he tells you that you are precious cargo—but does he keep that promise every time? And in the future, could you trust him to get himself home to you and your kids?

Don't settle for someone who is careless with your life, much less his own. You need someone who is willing to stay safe (and willing to keep you safe)— whether you are dating, married, or starting a family.

7. Financially Fit

Does he have a budget? Does he stick to it? Does he know how to file an insurance claim? Does he pay his taxes on time? Is he willing to tell you "no, I can't go out tonight" because he needs to save money or has bills to pay next week?

While dating in high school, you probably couldn't care less if the guy has financial investments or knows how to get the lowest interest rate on a loan, but if a man has made it to age 25 without following a budget or caring about how he spends his paycheck, you may have real problems in the future when you want to settle down and buy a house. So if he's living on his own but can't explain "ARMs," "escrow," "capital gains," or the difference between itemized and standards deductions, there's a chance he has no idea what he's really doing with his money. Being able to trust your man is good, but trusting him financially is a completely different aspect to consider before heading to the alter.

8. Patient

Are you constantly scared of making him mad? Does you two seem to fight more often than not? How does he react when you show up 20 or 30 minutes late to dinner? Or when a quick shopping trip lasted 2 hours longer than expected? Is he okay with getting angry at you in a public place? Or is he good at remaining calm, cool, and collected?

Patience is not a virtue that every man grasps well. And it's not always a quality that comes with age. If he's not willing to wait on his woman now, you're not going to be able to teach him how. He may get better at suppressing the urge to yell at you, but even that angry can build and build until one day he finally explodes. Find a man willing to wait on his woman.

9. Forgiving

Does he remind you daily of that $20 you owe him for gas the other day? Does he still remember that one time you forgot to do something he asked you to do? Does he bring up mistakes you made 5 years ago in a fight about a completely different topic? Does he remember everyone who ever did him wrong and vow to never speak to them again?

You're only human. You will make mistakes. You won't always remember to record his shows or pick up milk on the way home. You have to find someone who is willing to accept that you are only human— someone who is willing to accept your apology and let the little things go.

10. Kind

Such a simple word, yet so hard to find. Finding a kind man isn't just about finding a man who treats you well. It's about finding a man who is nice to the busy waitress at the restaurant when the place is packed and he's starving. It's about finding a man who allows others to merge in front of him in heavy traffic instead of sitting on his horn because he has the right of way. The way he respects you and your time is very important, but take note of the way he treats everyone else around you, especially his mom.

11. Goal Driven

Is he OK staying at his low-wage, dead-end job, or does he want more out of life? Does he know where he wants his career to go? Does he know where he wants your relationship to go? Is he thinking about not only his future, but your future together?

I'm not suggesting that you should persuade his career planning decisions, but after an extended period of time, if he is still making life-changing plans without you, it may be time to take the hint. There's no point in sticking around when your relationship has an expiration date.

12. A Connection Deeper Than Mutual Attraction

Are you dating him for his physical appearances? Are you able to connect on a deeper level? Does he show interest in you, or just your looks?

There's a difference and you'll know it when you feel it. The relationship will begin to feel hollow. You'll start having to fix all of your problems in the bedroom instead of being able to talk things out.

Good looks won't last (yours nor his). There has to be something more than a sexual passion for each other. You have to be able to look at him and know that you would lay down your life to protect that man, knowing he would do the same for you. You need someone who you know, without a doubt, is your missing half— your better half. Everyone deserves someone like that.