Everyone loves a good Christmas movie. There’s nothing like snuggling up with some hot cocoa and avoiding studying for a couple hours. ABC Family (or Freeform now, I guess) has been doing 25 Days of Christmas for quite a while now, but I don’t always agree with their Christmas movie choices. As the self-proclaimed Christmas queen, here’s my definitive list of the best 12 Christmas movies of all time. Feel free to disagree, just know that you’re wrong.
12. "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians"
I guarantee this is the worst movie you will ever watch, Christmas or otherwise, but everyone should watch it at some point. It’s truly terrible. Bad acting, ridiculous premise, a polar bear costume that makes your 3-year-old Halloween costume look like top-tier special effects. Regardless, it’s hilarious to laugh at and it will remind you that even if you fail all your finals, you are still better than whoever made this movie.
11. "Die Hard"
Okay, before controversial opinions start flying hear me out: Great movie. Fantastic movie, actually. Bruce Willis still has hair, what more could you ask for? So why is it so low on the list? Because it’s not really a Christmas movie. I mean, the whole thing could be set at an office Arbor Day party and nothing would really be that different. It should still be on your Christmas movie list, though, because that movie (and all of it’s sequels) are amazing.
10. "National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation"
Let it be known that I think this is the funniest Christmas movie of all time, but I also have the sense of humor of a kindergartener. Though it may not be the most sophisticated Christmas movie, how can you not love some classic slapstick comedy with an 80s charm? And that scene where the cat burns through the floor? ICONIC.
9. "Home Alone"
Who doesn’t love Macauley Culkin, before he got creepy of course… Tiny Kevin McCallister is a little ball of sass and lives out all your childhood dreams. Sure, he’s terrified for about half a second, then he decides he’s the man of the house now and turns around large and in charge. Goals.
8. "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York"
Though the original Home Alone is fantastic and a Christmas classic, I’m more partial to the sequel. Someone really should make a call to Child Protective Services, but the second one is heartwarming, and sincere and the booby traps are even more ridiculous. Even a cameo from our President-elect can’t ruin this movie for me.
7. "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
I’m in the minority here, but I really dislike the Charlie Brown movies. I’m not really a fan, but everyone else loves them so I’ve incorporated them into my annual binge anyway. I may not like them, but Charlie Brown and his pathetic little tree are super cute. Name a more iconic duo, I’ll wait.
6. "The Polar Express"
I don’t know about everyone else out there, but The Polar Express was a big part of my childhood so when I found out they were making a full-length movie, I lost it. Also, I think we should all be impressed that someone managed to turn a thirty page picture book into a 100 minute movie. Also, don’t pretend you didn’t try out Tom Hanks’ hole puncher skills for your own, just hopefully not on your parents’ tax forms. Not that I would know anything about that…
5. "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"
Now we’re getting somewhere. The five golden rings of Christmas movies! Another movie that turned a children’s book into a feature length film, but this one has Jim Carrey and Taylor Momsen. If you haven’t watched this one in a while, sit down and enjoy it, you won’t believe what went over your head as a kid. (Eggnog Bong, anyone?) Also the Grinch’s conversations with himself get more and more like your internal monologue as finals draw closer.
4. "The Santa Clause"
A Disney channel favorite, this one probably made your kid-self realize all the work that went into being Santa Claus. Though finding a business card seems like a ridiculous hiring policy, Tim Allen steps up to take on the most important job on Earth. Though he’s not thrilled with the idea at first, I think any of us could be convinced to eat cookies and drink cocoa all day every day. Plus, as the movie (and the sequel) go on, you sort of realize that Santa doesn’t do all that much. Bernard, on the other hand, is the most underrated elf of all time. He deserves better.
3. "Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas"
It really makes me sad how often this movie is forgotten. It’s one of my all time favorites. Classic Christmas stories told by classic Disney characters, it makes me cry every year. It’s sequel, Mickey’s Twice Upon a Christmas, is great too but something about the Goofy and Max story gets me every time. This movie is so good and wholesome, and it’s only an hour long so really there’s no reason not to be watching it right now.
2. "The Year Without a Santa Claus"
On the same line of the Charlie Brown specials, I’m also not a huge fan of the claymation Christmas classics. The figures creep me out. However, that will never stop me from singing all the parts in the Heat Miser/Snow Miser duet for the next three days. Yes, it’s cheesy, and yes, it’s probably not that good but I love Christmas movies like that. Plus, everyone seems to love this one, so just watch it already.
1. "Elf"
This one’s the big one. The number one, Partridge in a Pear Tree Christmas movie. Elf is the best Christmas movie of all time, I don’t care what you have to say. Let’s review: Will Farrell is hilarious, he doesn’t fit in any of the North Pole elf stuff, he shares his deepest feelings with Mr. Narwhal, he walks from the North Pole to New York City, he calls Peter Dinklage out on playing hooky from his North Pole work, he drenches his plate of spaghetti in syrup, he somehow wins the affections of Zooey Deschanel, and he tackles fake-Santa because he smells like beef and cheese. Elf is easily one of the most quotable movies to ever exist. When Buddy hears that Santa is coming, he’s basically me on November 1st. Just remember: the best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
There you go, 12 days of Christmas movies to get you through December. This is just my unofficial opinion, but I do consider myself an expert on most things Christmas related. I’ve put quite a bit of thought into this list. If I disagree with your opinions, I’m truly sorry, but this is the ideal list of movies to get you through finals and the holidays with your family.
