12 days. It’s the strangest thing to say, but today, while I write this in the final few minutes of my birthday (yes, I procrastinated until the very last second of the deadline to write this article), I only have 12 days left here. The next article I write will be from the United States, probably from my bedroom again waiting until midnight before the deadline to submit. But here I am sitting in my bed in Salamanca, Spain, messaging and calling all my people back in the US and thanking them for birthday wishes and thoughts and saying how much I miss everyone.

And for a while, it felt lonely to be here on my birthday when most of my friends have left to go back to the United States already and all my college friends have left campus to go back to their hometowns for the summer or start their internships—all the people I love are essentially across the other side of the Atlantic right now.

But then I had this realization: how the hell am I sad right now?

I am in this country that I dreamed of visiting for essentially my entire life. I’ve spent the last few months traveling Europe, visiting all the cities of Spain, meeting the most life-changing, loving, beautiful people, learning everything I can, adventuring and sometimes failing, learning to do things truly on my own, and simply creating the most unforgettable and indescribable moments and the craziest stories.

And for so long, I’ve had this deep belief that nothing else matters in life unless you have the right people. I truly still believe it. This semester wouldn’t have been the greatest life-changing experience that it has been if I didn’t have the people I have.

For my friends at home in the US, this wouldn’t have been the same if I didn’t have them to call when things were amazing and I was bursting with excitement and sending photo after photo of the adventures. Or for calling in the middle of the night in tears when things were the opposite. Or for calling when I was scared about what was to come. For generally calling whenever I needed and for talking about anything even if they heard it a million times. For being there even though they were thousands of miles away—for not becoming distant when distance tried to do so and for instead becoming stronger friends through all the ups and downs that I wanted to be with you for.

For my study abroad friends, I wouldn’t have been convinced to travel to Milan, Italy, and have lots of transportation failures and language failures while doing so. I wouldn’t have learned to always eat bread with Parmesan cheese and olive oil even if you have to beg the waiters for it. I wouldn’t have learned that the Lizzie McGuire movie features an edited drag queen song. Or how to get your phone, wallets, expensive European lipstick, and New York learner’s permit stolen all in one night. Or realized how accurate the Myers-Briggs personality test can be. Or that the 50 cent coffee machine is actually the best coffee in the city and that Salamanca Coffee Shop has a punch card and where to find the best churros in the city. Or learned how to order ice cream in Spanish (bolos = scoops and cono = cone). I wouldn’t have learned to live by the phrase YODO (you only die once). I wouldn’t have seen the amazingness in Stefan and Russel of Mykonos. I wouldn’t have the long list of random quotes from people during this trip that makes me die of laughter every time I read over it ("Is zucchini italian?" "Can I get sangria to-go?" "I'm going to put you on a fork, eat you, then spit you out and say it had cheese.")

I wouldn’t have learned to live life spontaneously while laughing at the failures. I wouldn’t have learned to love with all my being despite fear. I wouldn’t have realized that I have reason to believe in myself and be confident and look at myself in the mirror and believe those who tell me to see the beauty in myself. I wouldn’t have learned to simply live in the moment despite incredible fear and worry for the future. And that even though some “good-byes” will kill you inside and the feeling of loneliness can physically hurt so badly, you have to believe in saying “hasta luego” instead of “adios”. I wouldn’t have learned how to teach myself to be happy even when it seemed like happiness had left. And how to deal with those 3 am nights when all you do is lie in bed unable to sleep while silence screams at you and emptiness seems suffocating, and you're simply thinking of missing moments, people, and places in time that you would do anything to return to. But I also I wouldn't have learned that real life fairy tales exist and they're better than the books and movies because love isn't perfect nor is it easy, but it's so worth it because life is so ridiculously exciting--so exciting that one random day, someone can walk into your life and suddenly change your world and that’s worth all the pain and all the hard times that happen to also be a part of life and experiencing this world.

So, having learned all these amazing lessons and having shared all these incredibly beautiful laughs and smiles over the past few months and still having all these people that matter the world to me still in my life (yes, maybe scattered across the globe) is everything. I’m so lucky to have had this experience and have it play out the way it did. I got the chance to have all these people in my life as part of my experience and I can say that for everyone in my life that I love, it was a one in a million chance that I would meet them and I’m so unbelievably grateful for each one of them and so therefore, I don’t know how I could ever feel lonely, feel sad to be far from people I love. Because simply having them in my life is a priceless treasure and is more than I could’ve ever asked for.