Florida is a magical place that we all love to go to for spring break. Spring break in Florida is really like its own “Cave of Wonders” when you think about it. Everything is fine and dandy until one of your friends touches something that they shouldn’t have. Thanks to the Internet we already know that Florida is full of crazy things. Here are 12 things you might want to keep in mind so that you survive Florida in one piece.

1. Maybe don’t play Alanis Morissette super loud.

Hope you’re not going through a breakup and plan to listen to “Jagged Little Pill” on repeat. Allen Casey, 24, was arrested in 2012 for attacking his boyfriend with his hands and a plate. He left a large cut on his boyfriend's face. Casey said it was all because, “That’s all that mo********er listens to.”

2. If you see a rhesus monkey, don’t screw around with it.

Florida had over 700 of them in 2013 and apparently a lot of them had herpes-B. Basically, if you see a wild monkey in your drunken stupor, just don’t mess with it. If it’s infected and infects you, you’ll basically die.

3. Kingsley Lake aka “Silver Dollar Lake.”

This lake is almost a perfect circle, takes up 2000 acres and has a depth of 90 feet. What’s crazy about it? Well, it’s a sinkhole.

4. Be careful about who you hook up with.

In December of 2012 (obviously 2012 was a crazy year for Florida), a 50-year-old woman was arrested for assaulting her 32-year-old boyfriend. His offense? He climaxed first during joint-oral sex and refused to continue. The same situation happened in the same county with a different couple in November. Obviously, this is a trend for Florida.

5. Look out for giant African land snails.

The snails are thought to be in Florida because of people who practice Ifa Orisha, which is a Santeria-like African cult. The leader of which tells practitioners to drink the snail’s juice. Fun fact: Some of them carry a parasitic rat lungworm. If that lungworm is transmitted to humans it can cause meningitis. The state is currently trying to eradicate the snails.

6. And all the Burmese pythons.

The snakes are not native to America. They are thought to be the outcome of families buying pet snakes who didn’t realize they would get quite so big. The snakes are usually 6-10 feet long and have had detrimental effects on the food chain in the area. Fun fact: The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission holds a hunting tournament in the Everglades and gives cash prizes for killing the most and the largest snakes.

A more dangerous snake, the North African/rock python, has also shown up near the Everglades recently. Rock pythons are much more aggressive and have killed children and family pets.

7. Be careful chit-chatting with strangers.

Because you just might wind up being approached by a guy about an alligator. No, seriously. In December of 2013 a Miami man tried to barter a four-foot-long alligator for a case of beer at a convenience store.

8. Make sure you always have your own chips.

In November of 2013, an Ocala man was arrested for chasing an 8-year-old after he refused to eat his chips.

9. Bring your own chicken nuggets while you’re at it.

Also in November of 2013, an Orlando man was arrested for assaulting his pregnant sister after an argument escalated. He grabbed her neck and shoved her into a nightstand. The argument was over chicken nuggets.

10. Whatever you do, don’t litter.

In March of 2013 (OK, so obviously 2013 was a crazy year for Florida too) a woman confronted a spring breaker for littering on the beach. The argument went from yelling to a physical fight. It was broken up, but not before she bit the spring breaker in the cheek.

11. Watch out for wedgies.

In January of 2013, a man was arrested for misdemeanor battery after giving strangers wedgies.

12. Be on the look out for machetes too.

In July of 2013, a man attacked his roommate with a machete because the roommate changed the radio station while he was in the shower. In 2016, a man attacked another man with a machete while he was in the shower. Seriously, just keep an eye out for machetes while you’re gone.

So, there you have it, Florida is crazy – which we already knew. It’s probably going to be the “Hell Mouth” one day when the apocalypse comes. Stay safe on spring break everyone!

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever learned about Florida? Comment below!