My freshman year of college I was asked the same lame questions with each new interaction I encountered:
What's up? What's your major? Do you drink? Do you smoke? Do you work out?
And, I get it, meeting new people is hard. But to me, these choice of questions is all too telling about the kind of person you are: shallow, boring, and not very smart. So, for those of you who are over your college freshman phase, let me suggest to you some conversation starters that might actually make you stand a chance.
I can't begin to tell you how many times a conversation has fallen flat after I tell someone my answer. My major is behavioral healthcare. The response is usually, "Oh". I know that they don't know what that is. But what is more interesting is the fact that they didn't actually care, as indicated by their choice to not ask what it is. I don't smoke or like to drink, so that's a conversation ender. And nothing to me more annoying than asking me what I'm up to when I'm right in front of you and it's very clear.
It's time to step up the game, so here are some of my suggestions that might actually pleasantly surprise me if I were asked.
1. How are you?
This one is simple, for beginners and the socially awkward. I would 10/10 times rather a stranger ask me how I am than ask me what my major is. Starting slow and considerate seems pretty nice to me.
2. What are your plans for later today?
This one is actually a trick, for those who would like to be smooth. The point is not to ask me out or ask me to go somewhere with you. It's just a genuine question and helps you find out more about the person. Plus I'll be caught off guard that there wasn't a follow up question.
4. What's your favorite coffee drink?
And when I answer, say you're going to go get me one. No, don't ask me if you can get me one, because I'll probably say no. And if you do, don't think that it means anything. Once again, slow and steady wins the race. PS: Lol if you don't like coffee.
5. What are you interested in as a potential career?
Yes, this is extremely different than asking someone's major. Ask we all know, a major isn't an end all be all for careers. A major is a boring pre-set list of classes that teaches you the introductory knowledge needed for a field. You actually care what I am interested in? That's novel.
6. I'm gonna hang out by you, if that's okay.
This one works virtually anywhere. It's the most subtle of complements, and it's considerate. In a room full of people you would like to be near to me? Hey, I must give a good impression. You've made me feel interesting- well done.
7. Tell me something that just happened to you
Again, this one is a good choice if you're funny. Your bike had a flat tire, but you rode it all the way here anyway? I'm 100% going to call you stupid. But I'll probably low-key think it's really funny that you were determined enough to do that.
8. The weather
Use this one only under the circumstances that the weather is unusual or really strong. An 8 am when it's 32 degrees out sounds wild. How did you manage to get out of bed? Did you take a cold shower? Why aren't you wearing jeans? Are you a crazy person? Or, maybe you're sane and fully dressed but I'm not. Call me out.
9. A class
We don't have to have the same major or have the same class for this one to work. Stories about crazy professors are amazing. Or, what you have to do for a ridiculous assignment. Honestly, telling me about your classes shows you care about school. But precaution: Don't brag, don't talk about how you disrespected a professor, and don't tell me how often you skip class. Those are not good attributes.
10. Ask me what I was involved in during high school.
Not everyone pursues their passions as a career, they may like to keep it as a hobby- or a relief from work. Asking me what I did in high school may help you unlock a crucial piece of information. Like clubs or sports.
11. Complement something unique
No, not my basic V-neck shirt, or Hollister jeans. Hopefully it's obvious by now that these are situational. Pick the best one for the moment. Maybe you like my socks because they're loud, or my backpack or glasses. If you want to complement something, make sure you have a reason that's worth explaining
12. Be genuine
Be kind, be considerate, and be you. There's no point in being deceptive about what kind of person you are, because people will find out eventually. Plus it's exhausting and probably not very good for your emotional well being. You'll seem more comfortable if you talk in a way that feels natural to you. Plus, not everyone has to like you. But the important people in your life always will.
