To my Hero Mom,

It's been 5 years now since you left us. A lot had happened since then, but your memories are still vivid, they have clung well in my brain, and I probably will never forget them, at least I hope I don't. I remember your smile and your laugh, how you would ask me about my day at school every time I came back home. I never want to forget that. I catch myself closing my eyes imagining how it was going to be like if you were still there, seeing your offspring's making progress in life.

I always thought you were invincible, incapable of leaving us. You were not old to leave, and it caught us all by surprise. You were supposed to grow old, die of old age. You were not supposed to be taken away so soon. You were supposed to see me and my little sister graduate from university, all your boys get married to the love their life and you were supposed to reap the fruits of your hard labor.

My heart was broken when I heard the news. Truth is I had never experienced a pain to that level in my entire life. At the outset, I was in denial, shocked by the thought that you were gone. It was up until I saw your unconscious body before burial, then Christmas, that I realized you weren't coming back. Holidays are not the same anymore. Actually, I almost dread them. Going home does not have that joyfulness in the air like it did when you were alive. There is a sadness that hangs in the air because we are all thinking silently how we wished you were there.

The family lost its pillar and leader, and I saw the pain that it caused. It scared me because everyone in the neighborhood was keen to see how we going to survive without you. I never imagined a day without my mom who was also a dad to me. I still feel the pain that it caused and how it doesn't go away. There are good days and there are bad days. I always get upset when I see how close people are to their parents and that they get to see them all the time. I hope they realize how lucky they are and that they never take it for granted. I wish I could have seen you on your last day so that you could have given me strength and words to keep me going, while you are no more.

One thing I know for sure is that you are watching over us. Knowing that you have always wanted the best for us, is where I find comfort in the loss. I know that one day I will get to see you again. I hope I would have made you proud even though there were numerous times where I messed up and lost focus. I hope that all that I have accomplished and will accomplish makes you smile from ear to ear. I hope that the person I marry is someone you would approve of. And I hope that my kids get more time with their mothers than I did because the amount I got wasn't fair.

I want to say thank you for raising us, your children, even as a single parent with no job, but you were able to provide and put food on the table so that we do not sleep with an empty stomach. You sent us to school with the little you got from being a street vendor. You woke up earlier in the morning regardless of the weather, even when you were not feeling well to make us look like other kids at school. You compromised your health just to get us a better life, Mom you're a hero.