Summer is a unit of time defined by the change in the weather towards the warmer side. This season does not actually hold for parts of the world where rather than a four season year there instead are two seasons. American schools are based on the four season year, and many have a summer vacation during which their students leave their institution to enter into the greater world. Some students have internships, jobs, or summer classes to keep them occupied, but still, those students find themselves with empty days without anything to do. I've compiled a list of suggestions for how to amuse oneself on those days.
1. Go to the local library.
Remember back when you read for fun? Wasn't that great? Or, if you don't want to read, you can use the library computers to edit Wikipedia anonymously. This is a good idea if you don't want your own IP blocked or have been banned from editing Wikipedia because apparently adding information about your town's local cryptid is "misinformation" and "not tolerated."
2. Play with matches.
Self-explanatory.
3. Go outside.
Just wear lots of sunscreen.
4. Invest in Post-it Notes.
This can be interpreted as actually buying stock, but I specifically mean purchasing several boxes of these sticky things and wallpapering a part of your domicile with them. Alternatively, keep the notes in a vault in your basement. The vault is made out of Post-it Notes. You curl into a ball in the middle of your Post-it nest and laugh loudly.
5. Lie on the floor and kick a box in the air.
Entertainment for HOURS.
6. Write clickbait while feverish.
HAHAHAHA someone please give me some soup.
7. Try to learn to play guitar and give up after learning three chords.
This has become a confessional. Anyway, here's "Wonderwall."
8. Stare at a wall.
It's not like you have anything better to do.
9. Teach yourself to write with your non-dominant hand.
What a cool party trick! Now you can frame your rival for treason, get him thrown in prison, and marry his lover! Just make sure that he doesn't escape, amass a fortune, make a fake identity as a count, and come back to kill you. That would really suck.
10. Go to the zoo.
When was the last time you went to the zoo? WAY TOO LONG AGO. Zoos are critical parts to saving endangered species through careful breeding programs, and your support is needed to protect and preserve. This is the one serious thing here because I care a lot about endangered species.
11. Listen to the same song on repeat for upwards of eight hours.
Best to wear headphones so that the people around you don't threaten to "stab you with a rusty fork." Love you too, Mom.
