So you get to your English class, whether it's literature or writing, whether it's Black Women Writers, Writing the Graphic Novel, or Survey Of American Literature From 1865 To The Post-World War II Period, and you scope out your classmates. Maybe you're an English major and sit next to your friend, or maybe you're an engineering major taking an elective and sitting in the back of the room, trying not to be noticed. Either way, every English class has those very special people, whether good or bad. Some English classes are fortunately small and might not even have eleven people. But regardless, your typical literature classes always has these key players. Who are they, though? They're the eleven types of people in every English class.
1. The English major
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Duh. There's at least one English major in an English class. Sometimes they talk a lot, sometimes they don't say much. Either way, they always do well on everything because if they didn't what's the point of being in that class? Even if you notice they might not take extensive notes, you always ask them about the reading or assignment because they've probably read the required books already and they've probably written an essay about every literary device possible out there. Befriend the English major.
2. The one who talks a lot but doesn't really say anything
You know the one. They might be annoying, or you might not even pay attention to when they talk. Either way, there's always that one person who will say something about the reading but you honestly have no idea what they're talking about. They use buzz words that the professor has used before but it's as if they are pressing the predictive text button until something comes out. Sometimes you want them to try so maybe you help them out, but often you just wait for the professor to be so patient and move the conversation.
3. The STEM student
Sometimes you'll get a STEM student who just needs to fill an elective, or you'll get one who wants to develop reading and writing skills. The STEM student can sometimes be a great poet and they didn't know it, or they might not have any idea about imagery whatsoever. The STEM major who just needs the elective is quiet unless they feel the need to defend something or know they need those class participation points. The STEM major who wants to improve skills actually improves those skills and you get a little proud deep down.
4. "That guy"
That "guy" can be any gender, but they're the person who will critique something you write or say as if it's literal garbage, and then their writing or their comment is nothing extraordinary. This person is particularly common in a lot of writing courses. They often think they will be the next J.D. Salinger (which would explain a lot), but they are in reality just annoying. See Guy in Your MFA on Twitter.
5. The avid reader
The avid reader can also be the excited one. Basically, they extensively read and take notes on everything and are eager to learn. They're the student professors want and they don't annoy other students. Sometimes they might be shy to speak, but what they say is usually profound because they are that studious.
6. The quiet one
The quiet one is similar to the avid reader sometimes, in that when they speak a lot of times they have great thoughts. If they don't have great thoughts, then in reality they probably don't say anything. They're shy or they didn't do the reading, let's be honest, and they're not confident enough to b.s. their way into a conversation. Let's hope the quiet ones are actually the shy ones with great thoughts, and not the ones who didn't read.
7. The one who wants an easy A
Let's say Tom your math major friend needed an easy A so he decided to take an English class, thinking words are nothing compared to numbers. So he takes Great Narrative Works, seeing The Odyssey mentioned in the description and remembering how in high school they read a simplified version of it. Well, Tom didn't know he would have to read seven more books and write four papers during the course of this 200-level English class. Not only that, but he has to endure a not-so-simplified version of The Odyssey, along with the densely written Heart of Darkness, Dante's Inferno, and other stories that are not as simple as he thought. The English major above probably smirks when he asks for a little help.
8. The one who magically appears or disappears
Now this is the person you can actually find in almost every class. Half way through the semester and - where did this person come from? Who are they? Did they do something to their hair? Or - what happened to that one guy? The professor says they didn't drop. Can people afford F's? How does that work?
9. The one who really tries
This one is similar to the avid reader and sometimes the one who talks but doesn't really say anything. The one who really tries will sit on the edge of their desk and listen intently to the professor but as the class is watching a video of Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly parodying a video David Bowie and Bing Crosby singingLittle Drummer Boy in order to understand postermodernism in the book they didn't realize they were starting - they look around in hopes that they're not the only one lost.
10. The English Education major
They're there to become the professor, not the author or anyone else. When they talk to you, you actually listen because they have that teacher voice and you feel like they might be reprimanding you or giving you a compliment sandwich.Either way, the English Education major is the nice person you usually sit by if you don't know anyone because they're all smiles.
11. The writing major
They're there to become the author, not the professor or anyone else. As they read a boring but "necessary" book, they roll their eyes, glad they live in a time period where they don't have to sound as pretentious as Eliot. But as they read a book similar to their own writing style or message, they lie on their floor later at night wondering if their novel in progress will ever amount to anything or be as excellent as whatever book they're reading.
