We have all been there. Getting your heart broken by someone you love or once loved is painful. The pain at times can seem like it’s never going to end. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in relationships that when or if that person ever leaves our lives, we lose our identity. There is no simple way to make all things well again, but the healing process for a serious break-up doesn’t have to be depressing either. This specific time is a time for growth and the sooner you understand that the easier the process will be. Here are 11 tips for a successful healing process.

1. Don’t be in contact with your EX.

For some this isn’t even an issue, for others… it is. How do you say goodbye to the person that once did life with you, your best friend, and the person who knew every little thing about you? It seems impossible to do, but you can do it. The longer you stay in touch with your ex, the more difficult it becomes to move on. Unless you guys have made an agreement to get back together or stay friends and both people being completely okay with it, then there is no need to keep in touch. Staying in touch only drags the break-up on.

2. Avoid their social media accounts.

Much easier said than done. Checking on their Instagram and Twitter accounts are only going to put you in a bad mood. Lying in bed on social media, it is hard to avoid the search bar that’s haunting you to just type in the name of your ex. It seems innocent, but as soon as you start looking at pictures you get trapped in your thoughts of the past and what “could’ve been, should’ve been” for the rest of the night.

3. Look at the positives.

It is so important to keep a positive mind during this time. Even though it may seem like your world just cannot go on without that one person in your life, it can and it will. Singleness can be a blessing and I encourage you to take advantage of it. Meet people, explore places, expand your knowledge, find your passions in life, and spend time with your close friends. If you go about it the right way, being single can be a huge positive in your life.

4. Meet new people.

Sometimes it is simpler said than done, but meeting new people is a great way to get your mind off things. By meeting new people, whether it’s at school, work, a social event, or through a mutual friend, it focuses your attention on creating new relationships with people and getting to know who they are.

5. Occupy your mind and time.

Like meeting new people, finding new hobbies or interest will occupy your time with positive time spent. Picking up hobbies that you can practice consistently and grow in as an individual can be healthy for both body and mind. Staying busy and spending your time wisely will keep you from thinking about the negativities that come along with a break-up.

6. Don’t search for a rebound.

Rebounds may seem like an easy solution to a rough break-up, but they aren’t the best. I’m not saying you can’t have friends or you can’t meet other people, but don’t be on the lookout for a guy or girl you want to replace your previous relationship. It is important to remember you just got out of a relationship and getting into another one isn’t going to help with the issues from the past one. This time is meant for you to heal and become whole again.

7. Concentrate on improving yourself.

Take time to work on you. Know yourself and why you do the things you do. Work on areas you think need some improvement. This is the perfect time in life to take a step back, evaluate yourself, grow as an individual, and mature in who you are. Investing the time to improve on things will not only be beneficial to you now, but it will do you a lot of good in the future. Concentrate on loving who you are and being happy as you are.

8. Know your worth.

This was a huge struggle for me in my recent break-up. It is one thing to voice your self-worth and another to feel your self-worth. I know my worth is found in Christ and no guy could ever take that away or add to it. I am a daughter of the most High King, knowing this is the only way I started to heal. And If that isn’t your cup of tea and you struggle with your worth, then make notes of encouragement that you can place in areas throughout your day to remind you that you are loved, unique, worth it, etc. No one can determine your worth.

9. FORGIVE.

For me, this one is the most important. As well as one of the most difficult. Being able to forgive someone for cheating, lying, hurting you, or whatever else they may have done, is a challenging task. Many times this is the reason why people can’t let go. When it comes down to it, people are people. We are sinful creatures and we are going to mess up, disappoint, and hurt one another. You can’t hold onto the past and what someone’s done to you. You have to learn forgiveness and your life will be a whole lot easier.

10. Remember what you’ve learned.

Whether the relationship was amazing or absolutely terrible, you’ve learned something valuable from it. You can choose to come out of a break-up empty handed or not. They teach you so much about the other person, yourself, relationships in general, and life. Relationships can grow you and break-ups can make you stronger. It’s a great thing to be able to look back in a positive way and see things you’ve learned.

11. Give it time.

If you are anything like me, then being patient is not something that comes easily to you. It’s also something that we both should really work on. I know you have heard this before, but time will heal. You have to be patient and take it a day at a time. You will have some bad days, but most of all you will have some great ones. So just stick it out and give it some time.

With the right mindset, you can only grow from this situation. Remember, your world isn’t over. Things can only get better!