If you are from a "shore" town, aka a town that is right near the water, then you will understand each and every thought that I am presenting.
1. Could You Drive A Little Faster?
Hi, I live here all year round, and I currently have to be somewhere. I fully understand that you have no clue where you are going and that may be why you are driving so slow, but I know where I am going and it's most likely called work and I need to be there like five minutes ago.
2. It Is Totally Not Okay To Walk In Front Of My Car
No, please do not walk turtle slow in front of my car. You will walk out in the middle of the street as I am driving at 25 mph and then you will walk slowly. I will sit for about an hour as you and a million others of your kind (shoobies) cross the street. Do keep in mind, I do still have places to go and I wish it was the beach like you, but it is not.
3. Seagulls Are Not Pets
You know those things that you are feeding at the beach and boardwalk? Those are not just normal birds, they are a greedy, almost unknown species. I know they are called seagulls but they are not cute little birds, they may be just as crazy as us locals. Please do not feed them, they chase you, all day.
4. It Is Too Cloudy For The Beach
As a local there are certain days in particular that we can tell the difference between the shoobies and our fellow locals, cloudy days. There are always some cloudy days, yes, even at the shore. On the cloudy days, there are still flocks of shoobies on the beach, even days that it is going to rain.
5. I Live Here, It Was My Parking Spot First
It is a sad, sad day when you lose your parking spot in front of your house. You come home from a nice long day of work and there is no parking in the front of your house. Also, that parking spot will not be open tomorrow either, or the next day, or as long as they are here because they walk everywhere. Get used to your three block walk to your house for the summer.
6. I Cannot Take 20 Minutes Worth Of Pictures For You
I am most likely on my way to do something and you are asking me to be your personal photographer. I will say yes because I am thinking it is maybe one picture but then you ask for a bunch. Before I know it, you and your family stop at home and put on white shirts and a pair of jeans and I am taking candids of you guys on the beach.
7. That Is So Overpriced
I am standing behind you as you throw fifteen items on the counter and each one is so over priced. I am probably buying a water because I am so thirsty and have no choice but to buy a three dollar bottle of water. But you, you're buying a fifteen dollar plastic ring that you are gonna lose later on today.
8. Be Quiet, I Wanna Sleep
I know you are enjoying your summer house and really like to be up late but I do not. I probably have work tomorrow morning or some other un-vacation-like duty so I need sleep. I bet your party is really awesome and fun, but could you guys just go to sleep too?
9. Why Are You Barefoot In A Store?
Right now, you are walking around the dirty Wawa floor with no shoes on. I am not sure if you do not have any shoes, or if you just opted out, but I do know this Wawa is open 24 hours and they have been awful busy so it is probably not swept yet. Also, I think it's human nature to wear shoes in public places.
10. You're A Shoobie If You Do Not Live At The Shore All Year Long
I have had this argument a million times. I get that we are from the same state, but if you do not live within an hour of the beach you are indeed a shoobie. I live in the shore town all year. I know our license plates are the same, but at heart, we just aren't.
11. How The Heck Do I Afford A Second House?
After all my complaints I do have one request for you, teach me your ways. I must know the way to get a house somewhere for some vacation time.
