Before taking my classic post-freshman-year summer job working at a local sushi restaurant, I thought the extent of what a hostess did was just lead customers to their tables. Easy.
Yeah, there is a little more that goes into it. And if you have ever been a host or hostess, I'm sure - besides having a greater appreciation for the people working whenever you go out to eat - you will be able to relate to at least some of the same thoughts and scenarios I've had happen while on the job.
Now, let's clock in.
1. "Who the heck came up with all of this restaurant lingo?"
I swear the first time my manager said I was "cut", I thought I had just been fired on my first day. And who came up with the word weeded when you can just say someone is overwhelmed?
2. "I will never ask to get moved to a booth again in my life."
I promise I have a reason I sat you here at this table and when you ask to get moved it messes up my whole rotation of servers. But it's fine. Doesn't stress me out one bit.
3. "Wow, I am incredibly awkward."
*Cue jazz hands while I confirm that we do indeed have 6 dollar martinis tonight.*
(I am ashamed to admit that all events are based on true stories.)
4. (This applies more to hostesses) but "I forgot how many creepy men there were in this world."
Just because the hostess stand is right next to the bar doesn't mean I want to have a conversation with every middle aged guy who tells the same jokes as the last. And no, sir, I do not find it flattering when you tell me I am "too pretty" to work here.
5. "Wow, I am incredibly awkward." Pt. II
The number of times I have accidentally said "Bye, thank you!" to someone while seating them instead of "Enjoy your meal!" is embarrassing.
6. "I wish I could choose my uniform."
No, ma'am, I do not choose to wear a bow tie on a daily basis.
7. The feeling of stress you get when you have to give away the last table before closing.
Let's play a game of which server will hate me the least.
8. We try our best to accommodate our guests and give them a great dining experience, but that doesn't mean I can change restaurant policies for you.
If I told you I couldn't take a reservation 30 minutes before you want one for a table of 9 on a Saturday night, I didn't just make it up to mess with you.
9. Some people will be mad regardless of how much you are trying to help them out.
Sir, I am trying to seat you right now so why you are yelling at me I do not know. But I am just going to keep smiling and acting like everything is fine and that I am not on the verge of tears.
10. But there are those customers that are so nice and it does not go unnoticed.
When you genuinely thank us, I come to wish all customers were like you.
11. "I came into this just looking for a summer job, but I became a lot closer with the people I work with than I thought I would."
Probably to the point of oversharing, because what else are we going to talk about on slow nights than our entire lives' stories and our most embarrassing moments?
Before summer, this job seemed like just a way to get a paycheck and a means to an end, but - at the end of the day - I wouldn't have rather spent my summer any other way than seeing a million sushi rolls go by and coming home at the end of it all smelling like fried rice.
