Having an eating disorder at any point in the year sucks. Having one during the holidays is even worse. There's all that delicious food in front of you, but that's not the problem. It's all. Those. Calories. You know those scary things in food that everyone says are vital for you to live? Yeah, Christmas goodies are jam packed with those. It's a stressful time especially with family members that don't really understand what it's like to love food but hate eating it.

Here's some thoughts that go through someone with an eating disorder's head during this time of the year.

When someone catches you in a behavior.

I really feel you about the weight gain, but I really. Don't. Care.

When one friend admits to giving into the behaviors.

"Just don't think about the calories"

When everyone is happy but you're stressed out about the food.

"You're around family, be happy!"

When family just. Won't. Stop.

When you see your favorite food but have already eaten too much.

When you're overstimulated.

"You should try something new!"

Talking to someone else with an eating disorder that's also struggling.

We all get that everything you say and do comes from the heart, but that doesn't mean it doesn't suck for us.