Have you ever had one of those days where your all alone with your dog and no one to talk to. Sure, you talk to your dog all the time but they don't respond... But what if they could? What would they say? Here's a list of scenarios and what I think any dog would say in these situations:
1. When you ask them if they are hungry:
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"I only get to eat twice a day, plus whatever scraps you drop on the floor... So yes I'm sooo hungry. Please feed me, this is my favorite part of the day!"
2. When they beg:
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"Explain this to me please... You eat different things every single day and your food is so colorful! And I have to eat the same brown round pebble things everyday. Tell me how this is fair?"
3. The disappointed look they give you when you don't actually throw the ball:
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"Why do you think its so funny to trick us by not actually throwing the ball? Do you think this is some sort of game? This is serious business."
4. When you leave the room for 5 seconds:
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"Oh my gosh, you actually came back! I missed you so much, you can't leave me for that long because i missed you way too much'
5. When you ask them if they wanna go for a walk:
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" WALK OUTSIDE?! DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK!? LET'S GO THIS IS SO EXCITING! OH MY GOSH HURRY UP LET'S GO!"
6. But then you put the leash on them:
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"Why. You don't see me putting you on a leash. I thought this was gonna be fun but I thought wrong. Why must you ruin such a good thing."
7.When they do something bad:
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"I'm sorry I ate your big bag of peanut M&M's. They just smelled so good and I couldn't resist. You still love me right? I promise I'll never do it again!"
8. When they catch you packing to leave for somewhere:
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"Ohhh you guys are going on vacation?! Well don't forget me, I wanna come too!"
9. When you trick them into going to the vet:
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"Wait a second... This isn't grandmas house or the park. What do you think you are doing to me?"
10. And then they have to wear the cone:
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"Seriously, I licked it once because it was itchy... this really isn't necessary. How am I am I supposed to eat with this thing on..."
11. When your house makes a creaky noise, or the microwave beeps, or someone knocks on the door, or another dog walks by, etc...:
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"Did you hear that noise! Don't worry you hide I'll investigate the situation. I am the protector of the house, no intruder can beat me!"
In all honesty, if our dogs could talk things would be so much easier.
