For those of you out there that are 5’4 and shorter, you know the everyday struggle of being teased for being vertically challenged. I myself am 5’0 on the dot, and if I had a nickle for anytime someone made a remark regarding my height I’d be a millionaire. Sadly, we short people do not get rich off of taller people’s comments about our height, so I suggest you keep the comments to yourselves. Here are some phrases you just shouldn’t say to shorter people.
1. Vertically gifted human: "Can I rest my elbow on your shoulder?"
No, no you can not.
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2. Tall person: *holds something out of reach* "Can you reach this?"
What on earth makes you people want to do this to us?
3. Just above average height acquaintance: "I feel so tall next to you."
Yeah, we know. Glad we can boost your self esteem.
4. Friend that has been gifted long legs: "Quit walking so slow."
We have little legs, it is harder to keep up so please, bear with us.
5. Random relative/family friend: "You haven’t grown a bit since the last time I saw you!"
Yes, we get it we stopped growing painfully early and your reminder is anything but necessary.
6. Concerned drivers ed teacher: "Can your feet reach the gas pedals?"
Can your eyes see the seat has adjustments?
7. Oblivious tall person: "Wow you’re short."
Thank you, Captain Obvious
8. Anyone and everyone that sees you with your siblings: "Your younger siblings are taller than you."
Really? I only ever hear it everyday since he turned 12 and half.
9. Random, averaged height person: "Are you a legal midget?"
No comment.
10. Tall person with dad jokes: "How’s the weather down there?"
This has to be the epitome of a bad joke.
11. Friend that is an above average height: "I bet you’re not even tall enough to do that."
I bet I am, and I bet I can do whatever it is better than you tall people.
There you have it, we’ve heard the jokes and no they are not funny after the 100th time of hearing them; frankly they weren't funny the first few times either. So the next time you come across a short person, instead of cracking an overdone joke we’ve heard one too many times before, just keep it to yourself and remember - good things really do come in small packages.
