As a young feminist, I'm very conscious of the problematic things that get said to me on a day to day basis. Whether it's about my body, my future, my behavior or my intelligence, others (men and women alike) take it upon themselves to comment on where they think I should be in my life based on their vision of a woman. The comments made are often meant as lighthearted jokes, but they're responsible for the toxic (and not to mention, sexist) beliefs that get drilled into the minds of young girls. And when we hear these things, my friends and I almost immediately complain to one another about whatever ridiculous question or comment we're told. Through my own experiences and the stories my friends have shared with me, these are some of the comments that really, really get under my skin.
1. Is it that time of the month?
Hmmm, I think it's that time of the month where you get punched in the face. Why do you assume that my mood relies on something related specifically to my sex organs? Did you ever consider that I could've had a bad day?
2. Oh, you changed your hair! But I like you better with _____ hair.
Well, I like you better when you keep your mouth shut. My hair, my choices. It's as simple as that.
3. Wow! You're still single?
Wow! Thanks for reminding me. Bonus points: this one is even better when there is an adjective, such as "but you're so funny/beautiful/smart." I'm also *so independent,* Aunt Karen.
4. Don't worry, honey. One day your prince will come.
Ummm, could he not? Thanks. I'm kinda doing my own thing right now and that might mess up my vibe. Also, who said I wanted a prince?
5. You know the clock is ticking for you to have kids. Better get started soon.
Please, leave my uterus and I alone. We are enjoying young adulthood and don't plan on procreation any time soon - if ever. Leave me and my possible future kids to our own timeline, thank you.
6. You can't eat that whole plate of food.
Oh, I can. And I will. And I'll probably get some more. You're welcome to sit there and watch me if you'd like to.
7. You look tired.
You're right, I am tired. Tired of your unnecessary comments. This is annoying because it can also be read as: "you look awful."
8. You know, cursing that much isn't very ladylike.
And you know, I'm trying to find the part of me that cares. While I'm looking for that, you can go mind your own f***ing business.
9. If I were your age, I would be dating you.
Gross. You're not my age. That should be enough reason for you to keep your comment to yourself. But even if you WERE my age, an attitude like that would certainly not be attractive to me. So, signs point to no. If you were my age, we would probably not be dating. You're disgusting.
10. You're too pretty for all those piercings/tattoos.
Well, guess what - I feel even prettier with them. Again, I go back to "my body, my choices."
11. Catcalls. Any and all of them.
Stop. Right now. You are not going to impress the lady by making her feel like a piece of meat from across the street.
If you say these things to women, stop it. You are a part of the problem. These comments may seem harmless, but I can tell you that they contribute to the blatant sexism in this country. And if you're a victim to receiving these comments, I'm sorry and I feel your pain.
