It can be kind of hard, being being friends with someone across the globe, or even someone across the state. But, it can be an extraordinary experience that will provide new prospective and a newfound appreciation for what is around you. These are the eleven things that I learned after I gained a friend across the globe.
1. New Lingo
Coming from completely different countries, cultures, continents and hemispheres, we talked quite a bit different. Thankfully, it was only Australia, so there wasn't much of a language barrier. Even so, I had to learn quickly how to identify new vocabulary and phrases. This became a sort of game -- we would guess what different phrases meant, and then explain what they actually meant. I now use mate, bloody, keen and brekkie in my regular vocabulary. (This had to be pointed out to me, as I didn't realize I was doing it.)
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2. How To Work Around Time Zones
A 14 hour time difference is harder than it seems. When I was just getting up at 8 a.m., he was going to bed, because it was 10 p.m. It took some late nights and early mornings to start things off, but we quickly learned the ideal messaging times. But no matter how impossible it seemed, we always made time to talk, especially if one of us was having a bad day.
3. New Culture
Whether it was discussing proms, politics or even school, we always made a point of comparing cultures. We both had a thirst for knowledge of the land so far away. What would I be like if I had grown up in Australia? Probably not as afraid of spiders as I am. I learned about the prime minister, he learned about the president. We discussed different foods, and even foods that are classics around the world.
4. How To Appreciate The Things Around You
As we described the world around us, we each realized how much we take it for granted. I love the cold, and him, the heat. I love living in the Finger Lakes; it seems to be the most beautiful place in America. He enjoys living in the outback. We yearn to discover a new place, new people, and a new culture, but we take a few minutes to enjoy what we have here.
5. How To Remember People
When living in close proximity, you can be introduced to someone's friends and family. When across the globe, you must learn how to identify those people, even when you don't know them. He had to learn that my other best friend's name is Kimmy, and what she's like (exactly like him). I had to hear about his brothers, and his brother's girlfriend. This isn't just a chore. It's about connecting with a person, and showing them that you care enough to want to know.
6. How To Be Patient
This goes along with working with the time zones. You just have to be patient when they don't answer right away. They care, they just can't answer. When someone near you is having a rough day, you can be there physically, in silent support. When they're across the globe, you just have to give them they're space and time.
7. When To Discuss Your Friend With Others
This was the hardest for me to learn. I have this new, amazing friend, and I wanted to tell anyone who would listen. That's how I am with my friends. I talk about them like they're the best thing on Earth, because to me, they are. So when people began to give negative feedback, I was stunned. Reactions varied. Some people were hesitant to open up to someone you've never met. Some people were intrigued by a foreign culture, just as I was. Some people were simply intolerant of this uncommon friendship. I had to decide for myself -- would this person genuinely be happy for me?
8. How To Effectively Gauge Emotion
When someone is with you, you can use their face, and their body language to tell what they're feeling. When you're messaging, you can't do that. Emojis help, but misunderstandings are prone to occur. Communication really is key, and passive aggressive behavior is not helpful. Of course, videochatting when possible also helps.
9. Remaining Dependable and Supportive
When the situation there gets tough, they may come to you for help. Whether it's providing advice, or simply a shoulder to cry on, try to remain consistent. If suddenly one day you stop providing this, they will drift away. Being so far away in distance, it'll be hard to regain such a strong friendship. I'm lucky, because my friend has done nothing but continuously support me in hard times, and has also been there for many good times.
10. Remember That They Have A Life "Over There"
You are miles and miles and miles away. Remember that they may be busy, or already have a previous commitment when you want to talk. Always be flexible, and be understanding when they have to go. This will ensure trust, gratitude, and a stronger bond.
11. How To Contain Your Excitement When You Finally Get To Meet Them
You see, I haven't learned this skill yet. My mate is due to come over to the United States in August to attend the same college as me. I can only hope that we are as close then, as we are now.
Being friends with someone so far away can be tough. But, it is certainly rewarding. Between the knowledge gained, and the laughs shared, it has been one of the best experiences so far.
*In closing, I would like to thank Ryce Twomey for being one of my best mates, and showing me that friendships are not affected by distance.
