11 Things You Can Get Away With Saying In A Tennis Match | The Odyssey Online
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11 Things You Can Get Away With Saying In A Tennis Match

Tennis matches are full of furor, fury, firsts, seconds, and losers. Here are a couple things you can say in the heat of the moment! What leniency!

Nicky Steidel
Sep 13, 2016
Princeton University
174
11 Things You Can Get Away With Saying In A Tennis Match
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Tennis sure is wild for a game historically benefitting from the patronage of King Henry VIII. From what I've heard, you can get away with a lot of impolite things on the court! To investigate, I came up with this list of things you could theoretically say during a match along with photographic evidence of the possibility of people saying these things. Prepare for some shock and awe, baby!

1. "My neck / my back / lick my fermented perfume, if you dare!"


2. "This is not a court of law! You need not apply!"


3. "Well, this sure beats fishing! I would rather not be fishing."


4. "Many team sports have strong fascistic tendencies. I am not playing doubles, however; therefore, currently, I am not playing a fascist team sport."


5. "Shock and awe, baby!"


6. "Obama has deported more immigrants than any other president in U.S. history!"


7. "I've been to Amsterdam - not much to see. You got anything else to add?"


8. "The Democrats' policies of imperial warfare align well with the Republicans' overt white nationalism."


9. "You use baby powder? Baby."


10. "Shotgunning almost any type of beverage is not good for your kidney health."


11. "This has got to end! Stop this arbitrary point system! Abolish it all!"



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