All majors have their stereotypes and everyone can make jokes. Psychology is no different. I’m a pretty good sport and I enjoy a good roasting, but once I’ve heard the same things three times in one day, well, enough is enough.

1. What am I thinking right now?

First, psychology doesn’t work like that. Second, I’m thinking that you’re an idiot. Third, and most importantly, if I could magically read minds, I promise you I would do everything in my power to avoid whatever thoughts you have.

2. I bet you’re always reading people.

I mean, eh, I notice behavior patterns and just basically think to myself that relates to something I’ve learned. But honestly, I don’t think anything beyond that because I don’t care that much about you.

3. I need to watch what I say to you.

You kinda have to do that with everyone, bud. I don’t know what else to say.

4. Wow, that’s such an easy major!

All majors are challenging in their own way, so that statement is invalid. Psychology majors have to learn so many methods, theories, statistics, ethics, etc that it makes me question if I really want to keep this major. But then, I always laugh at myself for thinking that because psychology is awesome and it’s so worth it.

5. I bet you’re psychoanalyzing me right now.

Of course I am, because that is exactly what I am thinking when we’re talking over lunch. That is obviously the number one thing on my mind. Honestly, I am intentionally trying to avoid learning about every aspect of your life.

6. What are you going to do with THAT major?

I can do a lot with my major, my friend. There are so many things you can concentrate in, we aren’t all just therapists. (There’s nothing wrong with that, btw.) This is also a bad question to ask any major, because a lot of people don’t know from the start what they want to do with their major. They just like it.

7. Can you diagnose me?

First of all, I am not qualified to diagnose you. I mean, I could guess, but I don’t think you would want to hear it.

8. Psychology is not a real science.

I’m sorry, what?! We literally use the scientific method when designing any study. People can get their BS in psychology. Psychologists study the brain and whatever goes on in there. They learn about different chemicals in the brain and how different drugs can affect those chemicals. Your opinion is irrelevant. Bye.

9. Are you going to work with crazy people?

And by crazy, do you mean people with mental illnesses? If so, then yes. That’s what I want at least. Calling those people “crazy” is offensive and hurtful. So stop that.

10. How are you studying psychology when you have depression?

I had a nurse ask me this once. She laughed when I said I was a psychology major. So here’s my answer: I am going to study in psychology by registering for psychology courses and going to the library to study for those courses. And I’m gonna kick ass while doing it. I have a passion for psychology. Don’t doubt me.

11. Of course you’re majoring in psychology, you’re a woman.

This was also actually said to me by an actual human man. I was at work when he said this, so I could only smile and fake laugh. My honest reaction would just consist of me just giving him this really confused look because that is the dumbest statement out of all these statements.