If you're anything like me, you know that being "unladylike" is an every day struggle. People are constantly scolding you for your "unacceptable" mannerism. You're perfectly content with the way you live your life, but the people around you just don't seem to understand.
1. "Can you please chew with your mouth closed?"
Can you stop watching me eat? You obviously don't appreciate food as much as I do. Who takes the time to pay attention to their surroundings while they're devouring the delicious meal in front of them? Sounds like you're the one with the problem.
2. "Do you really have to announce when you're going to the bathroom?
Well, I don't know what else you want me to say. When i get up and walk to the bathroom, it's no secret where I'm going or what I'm going to do in there.
3. "Why don't you ever hang out with other girls?"
For your information, I have three friends who are girls. It's easier for me to be friends with guys because other girls think I'm loud and gross.
4. "You should probably re-paint your nails..."
Listen, I don't have the time or the patience for that. My chipped nail polish is evidence that I at least tried to paint my nails at some point. Deal with it.
5. "How long has it been since you shaved your legs? That's gross!"
It's been three and a half weeks to be exact. You wanna feel them?
6. "Can't you finish a sentence without cursing?"
What the **** kind of question is that? You know I can't! I'm simply using my "sentence enhancers".
7. "Your posture is horrible."
I'm not sorry if my slouching offends you. I'm very tired and I deserve to stand or sit any way I please.
8. "Burping out loud is so unattractive"
Wow, really? I honestly never knew that burping wasn't a way to seduce someone. That explains so much, thank you!
9. "You're so much prettier when you smile!"
Leave me and my chronic RBF alone. I don't have to smile if I don't want to. People tend to smile when they are enjoying themselves. If I'm not smiling around you, that's not my problem.
10. "Why do you always have to talk about inappropriate things?"
Because I can. Why do you choose to talk about boring things all the time? No one actually wants to hear about how your barista didn't put enough sugar in your coffee today.
11. "You are honestly so unladylike."
I know, and I'm pretty proud of it
