As we all know, Father’s Day is here. It’s like the moment Mother’s Day is over, Walmart goes from half priced Bath and Body Works products to 50 percent off all fishing and hunting gear. Kids go and buy their dads the latest and greatest stainless steel grill spatulas and most expensive power drill on the market, all to show their dad how much they love and appreciate them. But, what about the kids who don’t necessarily have a dad or “dad” figure in their life? What about the moms who play both the mom and dad part in the musical known as life?
Take my family for example; my dad was in my life for 17 incredible years before the “Big C” took him away from us. I was lucky enough to get those years, but some kids don’t even know what it’s like to have a dad at all. They’ve never bought their dad the newest Dewalt toolkit or walked down the outdoor section of Lowes saying, “oh, Dad would love this.” No, they were raised by a strong, independent woman who provided everything for them (which I know can be a hard concept for some of you eighteenth century, misogynistic minds to grasp.) But, it’s the truth, and it is an ever more apparent trend then in the past decades. So to all the moms that have to be mom and dad, here’s 11 things kids like me want you to know:
1. Thanks for being loving and stern and doing both so eloquently.
I know I’m not the easiest kid to deal with and most of the time I thought I was right, but no matter what I did, you managed to know when to be the loving, motherly figure and the stern authority I needed when I needed it.
2. Thank you for showing me how to see the good in the world.
Scrolling through Facebook and seeing all of these stories about missing children, homicides and mass shootings makes one lose faith in humanity. Thank you for showing me how to find the good in people, and that there is still hope even when things are darkest, and never giving up on me.
3. Thank you for showing me how to change a car tire and braid my hair.
Let’s be real here for a second -- Dad thought a fish tail braid meant actually putting a fish tail in my hair… I thank the Lord you were there to stop him from going to the grocery store and making that a reality. Also, he couldn’t tell the difference between a tire iron and hammer, so thank you for making sure I knew how to save a few bucks if I ever got a flat.
4. Thank you for teaching me how to be a strong, independent woman.
I’m pretty sure the words “I don’t need no man,” were the first ones out of my mouth. Thank you for teaching me that I am capable of achieving anything, and that I definitely did not need a boy to help me do it.
5. Thank you for teaching me how to throw a baseball.
Dad thought a home run in baseball was called a touchdown. Without you nagging at me to keep my glove tucked and follow through, I never would have found the friends I made, playing the sport you showed me how to love.
6. “A little dirt never hurt a pig.”
Phrases like this came flying out of your mouth everyday growing up. “If it’s bleeding, rub some dirt on it.” “If you’re not running a 102 temperature or throwing up, you’re staying in school.” “Suck it up.” And my all-time favorite: “If you come home clean, you didn’t try hard enough.” Thanks for teaching me that getting dirty and getting cut up were just another part of life. Time heals all wounds.
7. Thanks for showing me how to use power tools.
Drills, circular saws, reciprocating saws, and Lord knows what else, are not something to be afraid of, but something to be empowered by. You take that drill and you drill that hole, girlfriend. Mama didn’t raise no wuss!
8. Thank you for providing me and the whole family with everything we ever needed.
With four kids and three dogs, we could be a lot to handle. You did so with an overabundance of patience and grace. Something I will never be able to pay you back for. (Well, maybe when you’re in a nursing home.)
9. Life is hard, but it gets better.
Even after everything that has happened over the years -- the hard times, being tight on money, cars breaking, appliances catching smoke, ER trips, and medical bills -- you kept a demeanor of patience and never lost hope. Each thing was just a bump in the road, you just had to keep moving forward.
10. For showing us that getting back up is way more important than focusing on how we got knocked down.
Looking at the positives in life and finding a way to get back up and keep putting one foot in front of the other is an example I have come to follow. This is one of the most important lessons I have ever learned from you that I hope to pass onto everyone I meet.
11. By embodying the role of two parents in one, and doing it better than anyone ever could.
You are one of, no, you are the most incredible person to walk the Earth. You are a chauffeur, coach, chef, breadwinner, caregiver, nurse, dad and mom, but most of all, you are my best friend. Thank you for being the best of all worlds to me.
