“The Fosters” is a popular drama on FreeForm, the television network that stands for freedom to express your truest self, regardless of what others think. The Fosters changes how we think about ourselves, society, and reminds us why family matters most. There are many lessons I’ve learned from watching, and these are only a few.

1. “DNA doesn’t make a family, love does.”

The Fosters is about a lesbian couple that has 4 adopted children. The minute you start watching the show you can tell that they treat them as if they were their own biological children- but they also teach you that DNA doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you’re related to someone by blood or not; the love you have for each other takes the place of that. Even the people who are not blood-related can feel like family. And that’s what is most important.

2. “We probably judge ourselves harsher than anyone else does.”

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. We knock ourselves down when we make mistakes. We criticize ourselves in all different ways that we shouldn’t, leading us to lose sight of what we deserve more credit for. In the end, we are all human; no one is perfect. We should be less harsh on ourselves because mistakes are inevitable, and it’s important to be kind to ourselves because we deserve love and kindness in all of its forms.

3. Love has no gender or race.

It’s okay to love who you love, no matter the gender or race. Love comes in many forms, and each one is beautiful. And nothing can ever change that.

4. Being a parent can be tough, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it.

Parenting is one of the hardest jobs, but most would never trade it back for anything in the world because of the love and happiness it brings them. Having a family makes life worthwhile, and while there are risks to starting a family, every single one of them is worth it.

5. You have the ability to rebuild your life after making bad decisions.

One character on The Fosters, named Anna, has been through hell and back after fighting drug addiction and losing her children. Even though she never made the best decisions, she eventually finds the courage to become a better person and change her life for the better. Anna shows us that it’s never too late to change your life around, especially if you give it your best shot.

6. Even when life is extremely tough, don’t give up on getting better because it is possible.

We have all gone through periods of our lives when it seemed like our pain and unhappiness were never ending. Although it’s hard to have hope in those situations, there is light at the end of the tunnel if you just give it a chance to shine. And everyone deserves that chance.

7. It’s okay not to be okay.

It’s okay to admit you have a problem and ask for help. It can be a pretty scary feeling to admit that you can’t get through something alone. But you’re never alone, and admitting you have a problem is the first step in overcoming it.

8. “You can’t always walk into a situation thinking you’re going to fail. Because then you will.”

Confidence and faith in ourselves are key to being successful in any event in our lives, especially the most important ones. Believing in yourself is the first step to gaining confidence, and we should try not to underestimate our abilities. Because usually, we are more capable than we think we are.

9. “The best way fight back is to rise above.”

There are times when people try to tear us down, but there are times when we need to be the bigger person and not stoop to their level. Rising above their level shows that

10. “Compassion is given for free. Respect is earned.”

While it’s easy to be nice to people, you have to make more of an effort to show people that you deserve respect. If you show others your capabilities, qualities, and achievements in a positive way, they’ll learn to respect you. It can be hard to earn, but don’t be afraid to try. Respect is one of the most important ways to treat others.

11. “They underestimate how tough it actually is in the real world.”

Some people have it easier than others, but none of us are able to avoid facing real world difficulties. They’re just something that comes with life, even if we didn’t ask for it. The real world is tough and at times very scary. It can be easy to forget that when we imagine a perfect world, as some movies are often guilty of. But humans are strong; we have the ability to conquer the toughest of battles if we put up our best fight.