History nerds. We are a force to be reckoned with; we read way too much and way too late at night. Our Netflix queues are filled with documentaries and PBS specials. If we were to classify ourselves as characters from 'Parks and Recreation," we would be a combination of April and Leslie with Leslie's exuberance for all things historical and April's sarcasm and attitude. Here are some things you should never tell a history nerd:
1. "I hate history."
Oh, OK. That's fine. I guess you also hate puppies, kittens, sunshine, rainbows, and everything else happy in this world.
2. "What's your favorite decade?"
How do you expect me to pick just one!?
3. "Ew, how do you read so many boring history books?"
Because I have good taste and I prefer to learn from my reading instead of reading garbage romance novels.
4. "What time period does 'Game of Thrones' cover?"
Am I being punk'd? You can bring out Ashton Kutcher now because no one can possibly believe that 'Game of Thrones' actually happened. Please tell me that no one truly believes it is historical.
5. "Why do you even care about what happened hundreds of years ago?"
Um, I don't know, why do you care about what happens on a fictional tv show that does not affect your life at all? Whereas, my obsession affected/affects all of us to this day.
6. "Which type of history is your favorite? American? Ancient? European?"
I'm getting stressed out by just trying to think about which one is my favorite. I just love it all to be honest.
7. "Why doesn't the History channel actually play documentaries or anything of historic value?"
Excellent question. I believe this to be the Eighth Wonder of the Modern World.
8. "You should go on Jeopardy."
No, thank you. That seems like a high-stress situation. Also, I don't know anything in any other categories so that might be a problem.
9. "Who was the best president/leader/monarch?"
Like I'm supposed to know the answer to those questions, but I can tell you the Presidents in order and the order and deaths of Henry VIII's wives.
10. "So, are you like obsessed with 'Hamilton?'"
Um, I don't know... is the Earth round? Seriously, why are you asking questions you already know the answer to? Also, would you like me to tell you the historical inaccuracies in it? Because while there aren't many, there are still some, but it is a ridiculously genius idea. And it's also a trick because Lin-Manuel Miranda has tricked millions of people into caring about the least popular Founding Father. Not to mention the fact that he's tricked people into being entertained by something educational. That's a genius at work.
11. "Why does history even matter?"
I can write you 51 paragraphs on why it does matter if you'd prefer or I can sum it up right here. History matters because as the saying goes we are doomed to repeat the past when we fail to learn from it. History matters because every single decision made in the past has affected the present. Just think about all the things that could've been different had one decision been different in history. What if the American Revolution never happened? What if the Axis Powers won in WWII? What if Russia was still the Soviet Union or still under the rule of a tsar? The world would be completely changed. And if we don't learn from history and repeat past mistakes, the world of generations to come will be completely altered and possibly completely messed up.
