It is a universal truth that students say crazy things. From the age of five all the way up to their freshman year of high school, students can be quoted saying the most obnoxious (and sometimes rude) things that they didn't intend for anyone else to hear. Being a teacher at a zoo during my summers, I can personally confirm that some of my funniest moments come from children being their normal, uncensored selves. What I have brought to you today, is the completely true, and completely hilarious collection of quotes I have heard from my students over the past two years.

1. "Who wants to see my butt?"

The story behind this quote is jaw dropping. That week I was working with 5-6 year olds. Before heading out on zoo grounds, we always take a restroom break so the children are able to relieve themselves. Being the age that they are, they don't always communicate when the urge comes up, so we like to play it safe. I sent the children to their appropriate areas, then from outside the door, I heard one of my students yell, "Who wants to see my butt?" at the top of his lungs, and then giggle. Naturally, before anything could happen, I yelled from outside that we do not show our butts to other campers.

2. "You look homeless."

Now this one, while seemingly mean, is really quite funny. Again, I was working with my 5- to 6-year-old group, and I had this student multiple times before. However, this was the first time he had seen me this year, and your freshman year of college can change you quite a bit. The first minute he saw me, he stated, "Why do you look like that?" I was puzzled, and asked him what he meant. Simply, and without even thinking about it, he simply said, "You look homeless. I'm glad I don't look like that." Now, I wasn't offended by this at all. In fact, I laughed because it was so out of the blue.

3. "My penis is up."

This quote comes from a 4-year-old camper of mine. I was working with a preschool group, and we were about to get on a tram to take us back to the zoo classroom. As we were sitting down, this camper looked at me and said without a smile, "My penis is up." This was something I was not expecting at all and I was blown away that a 4 year old even really knew what that was. Thinking I had misheard him, I asked, "What did you say?" The student simply repeated the same statement again. Not knowing what to do, I ignored him, in hopes that he would stop talking about it. Instead, he simply kept on talking, and next said, "Sometimes, I just stick my hands down my pants and force it down." This is when I decided to intervene and stopped the conversation in its tracks.

4. "Quit dressing in the past."

This quote takes place last year. We were in an indoor lion viewing den, and this camper was a particular pain in the rear for me the entire week. While looking at the lions, there was another group touring, and said group just happened to be Amish. This student, being 7 years old, went up to the group, and said, "Hey, you guys know its the 21st century, right? You need to stop dressing like it's the past." I had never been more embarrassed in my entire life.

5. "They're from 'Mary Poppins!'"

This story goes almost hand in hand with the above story. One day at the zoo, we had the original cast from "Mary Poppins" touring. One of my students saw a group of Amish people, and ran up to them screaming, "Look! They're from 'Mary Poppins!'" I don't know how I mentally handle these quotes sometimes.

6. "I will cut your nuts off."

This quote wasn't said to me, instead it was said to one of my female coworkers which makes it all the better. This happened last year, and this child was in trouble for some reason that I do not remember. When my female coworker came to take him to the front office, he refused to walk with her. The student threw such a fit, he yelled at her "If you try and take me again, I will cut your nuts off!" Being a professional, I should have contained myself. However, the situation was so funny, I burst out laughing.

7. "It's a penis invasion!"

Writing this article, I have suddenly had an epiphany of how many of these stories seem to reflect the knowledge of six year old anatomy. This story also relates back to seeing animals with exposed parts, for lack of a better term. We were looking at a troop of black mangaby, and one of my students walked right up to the fence and gasped like he saw Jesus Christ himself standing in the exhibit. He then began to sing a song that started with the lyrics "Birds and the Bees", and started looking at each of the monkeys. He then started whispering to himself "There's a penis, and other penis, and another!" Then, when he saw a female, he was mortified, and yelled to me, "That one doesn't have a penis!" He then began to yell to the monkeysm "It's a penis invasion." As funny as this was, I didn't want this to spread to other campers so I quickly had to shut this down.

8. "You need to shave your legs."

Remember the, "Stop dressing in the past," quote from earlier? This quote comes from the same student, an entire year later. She was constantly pulling out my leg hair the entire week, which for those of you who are unaware, is extremely painful. When I finally asked her what she was doing, she stated, "You have too much hair on your legs. I'm trying to help." When I told her it's OK to have hair on your legs, she stated, "My momma said you're not supposed to. You need to shave your legs."

9. "The sea lion wanted to play fetch."

This happened during the sea lion show, and simply put, I was mortified. That week I was working with pre-school age kids. We were all watching the show and having a great time, when I saw a stick fly from behind me and over my head. Immediately, I turned around to find the culprit. When I asked the student why he threw the stick, he simply told me, "The people inside were playing with them. The sea lion wanted to play fetch." I then began to tell him that the sea lion only works with the trainers, and not to repeat his actions.

10. "I just swallowed bird poop."

This story is one of my all time favorites that I still continue to tell my campers. At the zoo, we allow guests to feed lorikeets which are a small parrot type bird. Primarily, they feed on nectar, so their fecal matter is mostly liquid and nectary. This incident happened at the right time and wrong place. My camper, who was nine, looked up to watch all of the lorikeets fly overhead. As she was doing so, she gaped her mouth open in awe, and it was at this moment that a missile of bird feces rocketed into her mouth and to the back of her throat where she has no choice but to swallow. She quickly ran out and threw up in the trash can, and when I asked her what happened, she simply said, "I just swallowed bird poop." I left crying from laughter.

11. "Who's your daddy?"

This is one of my all time favorite quotes from a student. We were playing a game that was similar to sharks and minnows, and for those of you who didn't have a childhood, its a better version of tag. One of my students, who was 6 years of age, ran through and weaved in and out of the taggers while shouting, "Who's your daddy?" at them. He did this at least five times, and I saw no harm in it, until another student got tired of hearing it. The next time he asked the taggers who their daddy was, a student replied and said, "I don't know, who's your daddy?" My student looked at the other camper and simply stated, "I don't know. I don't have one." Then ran away, continued playing the game, and continued shouting the same thing.

As you can tell, when you hear an educator tell you, "Teaching is the most rewarding job," they aren't simply saying that due to the fact that they learn from their students, or that they get to be at school by 6:30 a.m. every morning. No, educators say this phrase due to the fact that we all come home with new and awesome stories to tell our family and friends almost every other day.