As Syllabus Week comes to a close, college students have begun to form their daily routines, mindlessly attending the same five classes over and over again. Everyone knows the drill, you walk to class, sit down and prepare for an hour-long lecture from a professor who is unaware of their monotone, sleep-inducing voice.
Of course, attendance counts, so you have to actually go to class. However, that does not mean you need to give your full undivided attention. In fact, sometimes, it’s nearly impossible to do so. College students are bound to occupy the time they’re forced to sit in small wooden desks by entertaining themselves in other ways, some more creative than others.
Here is my take on the 11 things every college kid does in the classroom besides actually learn.
1. Casually checks their phone thinking it’s not obvious even though it is
The most popular choice, for some reason us college kids have a burning desire to hit the home button every 47 seconds and see our screens light up. Maybe it’s to check the time, and maybe it’s to simply experience that small burst of joy when you have a new notification. Unfortunately, it never goes unnoticed.
2. Grabs their planner to frantically write down assignments they probably won’t do
Planners actually tend to make me feel more overwhelmed and less planned because it ends up becoming a jumbled unending to-do list. However, you can’t help but pull yours out when you see everyone else do so as the professor announces yet another assignment.
3. Dazes off thinking about their sins from the night before
As you sit there bored out of your mind, you can’t help but wonder back with regret to what you said Friday night to Chas in Sigma Apple Chi. But hey, no regrets, right?
4. Eats and drinks anything they can get their hands on
Take one glance around the classroom, and you’re bound to see 14 traveling mugs, 23 Starbucks iced coffees, a wide variety of granola bars and water bottles, and even the occasional full sandwich. Nothing like some food and drink to keep you alive in lectures.
5. Occasionally nods off from exhaustion
You know the feeling, your eyes slowly start to shut and your head slowly starts to nod one way, and then you realize you’re falling asleep and snap out of it. Or you don’t realize and pass out and are embarrassingly called out in front of the entire class for it. Either way.
6. Brainstorms exactly what they want to eat for dinner from the dining hall
Pasta? Quesadilla? Grilled Cheese? Maybe just a classic trip through the buffet? These are the important questions, people.
7. Vividly imagines their professor’s life outside of class
Maybe this only applies to me, but I like to try and imagine my professors having real lives, and what those lives might look like. Are they married? Do they have kids? Do they ride a horse to school? You never know.
8. Glances around trying to remember the names of classmates you faintly recognize
You know the feeling when you see a face, and you swear you’ve seen it before, but have absolutely no recollection of where you’ve seen it. The name is on the tip of your tongue, but you can’t quite reach it, so you know you’ll have to skirt out of there before this person recognizes you the second you’re dismissed to avoid confrontation.
9. Can’t help but become mesmerized by the contents of the laptop screen of the person in front of you
Whether it’s Netflix, Facebook, or just their school email, it’s impossible not to feel the urge to look at their screen and analyze its contents. Then you start to wonder if people behind you have been looking at your laptop screen, and feel uncomfortable.
10. Starts to pack up their things seven minutes early to signal to the professor to stop teaching
The tell-tale sounds of notebooks closing, pens clicking, and backpacks being zippered gets increasingly earlier each day, in the hopes the professor thinks the class is coming to a close and lets you out early. Usually, it’s hopeless but always worth a shot.
11. Walk out of the classroom feeling more confused and overwhelmed than when you entered it
I don’t remember one single thing we talked about in class today? Oh well, it’s just another day in the life of your average college student.
